Predictions for 2011

My tongue-in-cheek predictions for 2011:

- There will be an NFL lockout
- The Phillies will miss the playoffs despite every starting pitcher having an ERA of under 3.00, as at least 50 of their losses are by one run
- The Heat won't make it to the Eastern Conference finals
- Someone other than a Quarterback will be going to Disney World after the Super Bowl
- There will be gridlock in Congress

 

Gee, there were TWO political predictions after mine, but the whiners didn't attack it.

Gas will be $4 a gallon by summer and everyone in power who once said "we've got to get the speculators" remain hushed.

Philadelphia 31, New England 21 in Arlington in February, after which Vick becomes the official spokesman for Alpo.

 

January will suck worse than any month has ever sucked in the history of my life.

That's a personal one, BTW.

 

Mike Shanahan and Kyle Shanahan will either be fired or resign from the Washington Redskins when Daniel Snyder reads them both the riot act for their benching of Donovan McNabb.

Snyder will try to woo Bill Cowher with millions of dollars to be the next coach of the Redskins. He'll say no. Shanahan will try to find some big name to take over as head coach again, but will have to settle for Jim Haslett.

The Maryland Terrapins will go 4-8 in their first post-Friedgen season.

The Nationals will win 80 games, but Jim Riggleman will be out of a job by season's end.

The Orioles will contend for a while, but will finish with 75 wins.

The Wizards will get the fourth overall pick.

The Capitals will find a way to choke in the first round of the playoffs once again. Bruce Boudreau will be fired.

 

That's brilliant. (No offense Ragu, but it's a good line.)

 

Despite record profits in an industry that has abused its players for decades in terms of health, disability and pension benefits and non-guaranteed contracts, the NFL will lock out its players to try and force them to accept an 18 percent rollback in compensation and play two more games a season.

 

The NFL misses 2 weeks of the regular season before the owners and players reach agreement on a new labor deal.

Some team, beset by quarterback injuries, will make a call to Brett Favre in week 6 asking him to play. He will consider it, and of course, decide to play.

The Atlanta Thrashers will win their first playoff game in franchise history.

One of the southern NHL teams will bolt for Canada (perhaps Atlanta).

Illinois beats Villanova to win the NCAA tournament.

The Bangles and the Go Gos will join together for one of the top drawing tours of the year.

The Black Crowes, Counting Crows and Sheryl Crow will tour together (the Eat Crow Tour?)

Lamar Odoms will get divorced.

One of the Jersey Shore cast will be incarcerated.

KISS still won't make the Rock and Roll Place for music liked by Jann Wenner and his friends. Rush gets a nomination and gets in.

The UConn women go undefeated and are named co-Sportspersons of the Year, along with...

Jimmie Johnson, who captures his 6th straight NASCAR championship.

 

USA men's soccer team will not win the Gold Cup.
USA women's team will barely escape the group stage at the World Cup and crash and burn quickly thereafter.
The state of Illinois will default. Other large municipalities will too.
A government in Europe will be overthrown. Greece most likely.
Frank Buckles, the last remaining WWI veteran, will die.
North Korea will begin to crumble from internal strife, but will hold on another year.
Royal wedding will be the most watched television event in the history of the planet.
Attendance for all major sports will be down again. Maybe significantly.
Evidence supporting Cam Newton's involvement in his father's pay to play scheme will surface on the eve of the championship game.

 

In 2011 the Hamburgler will finally be brought to Justice while Mayor McCheese will be ousted by a Tea Party Candidate.

 

2011 Minnesota Vikings quarterback:

 

Buck will finish last in NIAFL