Prearranged Marriages

A good friend of mine is in an arranged marriage. He lived his HS days like a normal teen, and his parents tried to set it up. However, it wasn't blind... he went to India (he's Muslim) and met her a couple times, and got to know her over the course of a year via phone calls and those two visits. He seems very happy and content, although he certainly understands why his friends are perplexed with the concept.

 

Doctor, if you only knew....she is "my bitch". ;D

I will respond to this thead tomorrow.

 

Katie Holmes, please pick up the white courtesy phone...

 

Given the success rate of most traditional North American marriages, maybe we should give this idea shot.

 

Since Deb has been eagerly waiting for my response, here goes:

I am totally against it.

First of all, it is the most materialistic way of marriage that is out there. The gist of arranged marriages in India are that the boys family gets a dowries from the girls family. This means they get a crap load of cash, jewellry and sometimes more extravagant things such as houses and cars.

Secondly, I think that if two people are going to be together, they need to know each other real well before the notion of marriage is even entertained. A couple needs to find that spark or chemistry but this sort of arrangement doesn't allow it. The gist of this marriage is that the woman has to look after the house while the man is able to go out and work. Woman have to bow to men in this sort of arrangement and to be quite honest, I do not like that at all.

The reason I brought up this fantastic documentary that CBC aired called Stolen Brides was that it shows many cases of where men and their families pretend to be really want an arranged marriage, only to deceive the family and take the money and run. Most times, it is done for immigration purposes. These women are left to pick up the pieces. Also, men who are using these marriages for money and immigration end up cheating on the woman with some other chick from the land they want immigration from. These women in these marriages are powerless, most times because lack of funds and a justice system that allows men and their families to do this. SJ'er who have not seen this documentary should because it really opens your eyes. You have to feel compassion for the women in these married situations because they are the real victims here.

On a personal note, because of my rebellious ways in my teens, my father threatened to ship me off and do this arranged thing. The only thing I retorted back is that "I can't cook, so good luck". The reason I said that is that the woman has to know how to cook to be in these arranged marriage situations. Thank god he stops pestering me about it now.

And I still can't cook!

(FYI-Deb was debating this at work on Sat and purposely I shut my office door so I would not be involved in this discussion. That is why she has been desparate to see my response to this.)

 

Arranged marriages are great... as long as it doesn't involve the gays!

 

I think prearranged marriages should have prearranged divorces. Then everyone would be happy!

 

Don't all marriages have that already?

 

A camel is always good for a dowry.

 

we wish all marriages have it already...but they don't. Ask Paul McCartney about that...
I think this is a get rich scheme for the prospective groom's family.

 

Was anybody really expecting a large pro-arranged-marriage response? It's a foreign concept to most people in the U.S. and Canada.
Are we talking about whether it should be legal? I'd say yes, and banning it would be hard to enforce.