Powerball

One thing I always have made sure to do is join any office pool. I don't ever want to be that guy who comes into the office and ends up on the outside of a huge celebration.

That also does remind me of a story I read once about an office pool in which everyone kicked in a few bucks each week for a lottery. One week, one guy was out, and sure enough, the group won.

Only, unlike most of these stories that end in lawsuits and such, one of the other guys in the pool had kicked in a few bucks extra to buy the tickets for the guy who was out, without them knowing. So the guy gets ready to come in the office all depressed, and before he enters, the other guy waves him over, tells him to give him $5, and, when the guy does, he's told he's a millionaire. Always thought it was a good story.

As for me, I'd make it a hard and fast rule that if I hadn't spoken with you in a year, that my answer to any money requests would be an automatic no. My wife often says that if we'd won, she'd want to stay in the same house. I tell her that wouldn't be practical because people would be ringing our doorbell non-stop.

As for me, I'd look into buying into a sports franchise in one of the major sports, either as a major or minority owner, and maybe buy a minor-league baseball team in an MLB-affiliated league. None of those independent leagues.

 

I support that last paragraph. Fully.

 

Went across the state line to get mine, and the line was already out the door at noon on Thursday. Probably a 30-minute wait to make it to the counter. Luckily, the store printed out a bunch of quick-pick tickets and had a guy selling them in the parking lot. Gave him $20 for 10 tickets and saved the half-hour.
At least I hope he was working for the store.

 

Years ago, I used to dream about asking to meet with my three bosses, going in and saying "Fuck you, fuck you and fuck you," and then walking out without any explanation. But I don't work for those guys anymore, and I wouldn't want to say that to the people I work for now, so there would be no satisfaction in it. Still, I would immediately stop working. Before that though, in addition to lining up the lawyers and financial advisors, I'd change my phone number. I remember hearing that was the absolute first thing you should do.

 

I would probably give at least 2 weeks notice at work and help train whoever takes over for me. But that's probably it. After that, I'm out. I would still work, though, part time. Just shits and giggles jobs I've always wanted to try, like sandwich maker at Jersey Mike's or something. Maybe a bartender somewhere for a while. I'm weird like that, I guess.

 

So ... no United Way?

 

A 31-year-old, divorced bank teller in our area won a huge Mega Millions jackpot a few years ago. She immediately split to an undisclosed location on the California coast, enrolling her two kids in private schools.

When she returned a year or so after winning (to support a huge fundraiser in the area) and gave our paper an interview, she said she enjoyed the financial security and a few material goodies, but missed her privacy and living near where she grew up.

I will also note, for the record, that she looked ... enhanced. I guess money was no longer an obstacle to cosmetic surgery!

 

I run the ERF (Early Retirement Fund) here at school. There are about 10 other teachers in it, and it costs $4 a week for the two Powerball drawings. We haven't even come close in the three years that I've been doing it ... I think the most we've gotten is two numbers plus Powerball,which is $7.

I've always wondered what has the best odds ... going through the quick pick or choosing yourself. I've wanted to come up with some kind of formula to see what numbers fall most often, but I don't know how to do that.

As teachers, having to deal with all the BS of the education world, we often talk about what we would do (which is how the ERF got started in the first place). After sitting with a lawyer/accountant, I would first pay off my wedding in August, and then buy and immediately restore my dream house, buy a second house on Block Island, and purchase a 1958 Alfa Romeo Giuletta convertible. Bank a healthy chunk and live off the interest. Then donate the rest to my high school and college alma maters, pay off the mortgages of some close friends and fund their kids' college educations, and have a smile that will never leave my face.

Damn. Let's hurry up with this!

 

I can't imagine not quitting my job. Even if I only won $1M, I think I'd quit my job for at least a year and find some other line of work that doesn't keep me away from my family pretty much every night and every other weekend.

That being said, if I did win the powerball, I'd pay off every single bill we owe, starting with that stupid, ridiculous PayDay Loan my wife took out this summer that's causing me so much fucking stress and aggravation right now (sorry, that's for another post on another day). I'd give a considerable chunk to my brother and mom, because, well, they've been through so much the last two years and deserve to be pampered. I'd throw a little bit to my wife's family. I'd buy my wife the mini-van that she so desperately wants and I'd buy myself something decent, but not too flashy.

I'd build a house to our specifications, something with a huge kitchen, nice theater room, a full-court gymnasium with adjacent fitness center and maybe an indoor batting cage for my boys. I don't know exactly where I'd build, I'd have to talk that over with my wife. Maybe we'd go back home, maybe we'd stay where we are or maybe we'd go further south. Wherever we build, I would enroll my kids in the best schools and make sure they keep their drive to pursue their own success. I know I'd probably get a vacation home in the mountains somewhere and a vacation home near Orlando, so we could visit Disney World as much as we'd like.

I'm not into fancy food and wine and shit like that, but I'd definitely eat well and try to at least spread my wings food-wise. Outside of maybe one trip to Europe, I can't see myself doing the world travel thing. I like familiarity, so I'd probably stick to vacationing across the continental U.S. and Alaska/Hawaii. I would donate some money to charities and I'd donate some money to my old high school with the specific instructions that it go to upgrading their deplorable athletic facilities. My cousin is the basketball coach, so I'd like to build him a new gym.

As far as working, I'd have to do something. I get antsy when I'm on vacation for too long, so I'd have to have a "job" to go home to. It's always been a dream to own a sports bar, something that I've already conceptually designed in my mind and have drawn out schematics for it. I know the restaurant biz is a losing proposition, but I'd love to give it a shot. When I'm not managing the sports bar, I think I'd take in some part-time employment down at Disney World, possibly as a skipper on the Jungle Cruise ride or one of the Streetmosphere characters. (don't judge!)

OK, now I get to go back to work, knowing that the chances of those things coming true are about as high as Gannett naming me the new CEO.

 

Oh, and I'd buy Chef2 a dog.

 

As someone who has to type the lottery numbers onto our agate page every day, I will say there is some sort of pattern to the numbers. Or at least tendencies, for lack of a better term. The Nos. 38 and 59, for example, both came up twice in three drawings in December. No. 2 seems to come up fairly often, as does 10. Watching them over the longer term, you'll see some examples where two or three numbers get pulled several times in a stretch of five or six weeks.
Unfortunately, near as I can tell, by the time you can figure out any discernible pattern it shifts. It's also never more than, maybe, two numbers, which doesn't do you a lot of good.