Powerball

Two chicks at the same time.

 

Fantasies of wealth are fun, aren't they? In cold reality, the first things the eventual winner should spend money on is to hire the stuffiest most expensive attorney available and the stuffiest, most conservative wealth management firm available. THEN buy that race horse.

 

Damnit, beat me to it

 

Everyone's fantasy life is shockingly similar to Guy Fieri's actual life. I should stop laughing at his hair.

 

Alabama will still tax the winnings if that's your state of residence but will give you a credit for taxes paid to the other state, which in theory will wipe out Alabama's tax on that income if the tax rate in the purchase state is equal to or higher than Alabama's. If the rate is lower, Alabama will get tax on the difference.

 

I buy a ticket when the lotto gets to $200 million or above. I figure if I'm going to piss away $2, I might as well make it so that -- if by some miracle I hit it -- my kids will never have to work but instead be philanthropic with the fortune I leave them.

And go to Vegas and take Charles Barkley's ass in poker.

 

Amazed it took three pages.

 

Neutral has put some serious synapsis work into this.

 

I was quite serious about the hiring money professionals before I claim the ticket part. I'm also serious about Alabama pissing up a rope before they get my money. I know that all state government is messy and corrupt, but there are damn few as ass backwards is it is here. If that means that my prime residence is in Texas or elsewhere, fine. Maybe I'll try living somewhere that has a state government rated in the top ten instead of perennially 48th or 49th. My wife has 27 years in at UAB, and that has held us here, that and all her family being here, but she's going to retire soon anyhow.

 

LOL like any of us will see more than $4 out of all this craziness anyhow. I'd spend $20 in gas making a run to the state line, plus tickets, and probably not even get the $4. Buying a ticket like that is good for a three day "If I won" fantasy, though, those are fun while they last.

 

This is correct. A former USA Today colleague won a modest lottery payout - about $5 million - and did all the right things in terms of getting good legal advice and such. Sadly, his winnings did not keep him from dying of cancer a few years ago.

*****
I've been buying Powerball tickets twice a week for the last 10-12 weeks. A "state line" store is just about 20 minutes from our house, so it's easy to make it part of the routine. I've cut back on my diet soda consumption, which makes it easy to round up the $6 a week to buy the tickets.

I don't blue-sky much about winning, but it does occur to me that I would wish to be very generous to our family and to the folks I've worked with. My wife and I would certainly enjoy the chance to travel a lot more. At age 58, I probably would invest more in longevity solutions than some of you younger folks.

 

I'm with Neutral on hiring independent lawyers and financial planners before ever claiming the ticket. I want someone checking and rechecking that shit with no knowledge of the other people doing it.

I'd want it so there's no way I'd piss away all the money in three years. No fucking restaurants or bars, no scheme your brother-in-law says is can't miss. After paying everything off and building a house, I want mine in a trust that gives me a set amount to live on every year, after taxes, something around $500,000 (which is just $12,500,000 after 25 years, which is what I figure I have left, give or take 10 years). That way I can travel and live well.