Porn...Again

Time to go Broadway on you guys...
From "Avenue Q", the classic song "The Internet is for Porn"
a 30-second video clip can be found here:
http://www.avenueq.com/video/internetisforporn_high.ram

The full lyrics are:


KATE: The internet is really really great
TREKKIE MONSTER: For porn
KATE: I’ve got a fast connection so i don’t have to wait
TREKKIE: For porn
KATE: Huh? There's always some new site,
TREKKIE: For porn!
KATE: I browse all day and night
TREKKIE: For porn!
KATE: It's like i’m surfing at the speed of light
TREKKIE: For porn!
KATE: Trekkie!

TREKKIE: The internet is for porn
KATE: Trekkie!
TREKKIE: The internet is for porn,
KATE: What are you doing!?
TREKKIE: Why you think the net was born?
Porn porn porn

KATE: Treee—kkie!
TREKKIE: Oh hello kate monster
KATE: You are ruining my song
TREKKIE: Oh me sorry, me no mean to
KATE: Well if you wouldnt mind please being quiet for a minute so i can finish?
TREKKIE: Me no talkie
KATE: Good. I’m glad we have this new technology
TREKKIE: For porn
KATE: Which gives us untold opportunity
TREKKIE: For por—oops, sorry
KATE: Right from you own desktop
TREKKIE: For ---
KATE: You can research browse and shop
Until you’ve had enough and your ready to stop
TREKKIE: FOR PORN!!

KATE: Trekkie!
TREKKIE: The internet is for porn!
KATE: Noooo
TREKKIE: The internet if for porn!
KATE: Trekkie
TREKKIE: Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!

KATE: That’s gross you’re a pervert
TREKKIE: Ah, sticks and stones Kate monster
KATE: NO really, your a pervert
Normal people don’t sit at home and look
At porn on the internet
TREKKIE: Ohhhh?
KATE: What?!
TREKKIE: You have no idea
Ready normal people?

NORMAL PEOPLE: Ready--- ready ----ready

TREKKIE: Let me hear it!

TREKKIE AND GUYS: The internet is for porn!
PRINCETON: Sorry kate
TREKKIE AND GUYS: The internet is for porn!
PRINCETON: I masturbate!
TREKKIE AND GUYS: All these guys unzip their flies
For porn, porn, porn!

KATE: The internet is not for porn!!
TREKKIE AND GUYS: PORN!, PORN, P---
KATE: HOLD ON A SECOND!
Now i know for a fact that you, Rob, check your portfolio and trade stocks online
ROB: That’s correct.
KATE: And Brian, you buy things on Amazon.com
BRIAN: Sure!
KATE: And Gary, you keep selling your possesions on Ebay
GARY: Yes I do!
KATE: And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card
PRINCETON: True!

TREKKIE: Oh, but Kate-
What you think he do . . .after? hmm?

PRINCETON: . .yeah

KATE: EEEWWWWW!
TREKKIE AND GUYS: The internet is for porn!
KATE: Gross!
TREKKIE AND GUYS: The internet is for porn!
KATE: I hate porn
TREKKIE AND GUYS: Grab your dick and double click
KATE: I hate you men!
TREKKIE AND GUYS: For porn, porn, porn!
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn
KATE: I’m leaving!
TREKKIE AND GUYS: Porn, porn, porn, porn
porn, porn, porn, porn
KATE: I hate the internet!
TREKKIE AND GUYS: Porn, porn, porn, porn
TREKKIE: The internet is for
TREKKIE AND SOME: The internet is for
TREKKIE AND ALL: The internet is for PORN!
TREKKIE: YEAH!

 

I AM THE GREAT PORNHOLIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Fixed

 

REE-PEAT!

 

Cleveland Indians Third Baseman Roger Porn?

 

Swedish tennis legend Porn Borg.

 

I'd have gone with Bjorn Porn.

 

I wouldn't mind some Bjork porn.

 

Damnit. I checked the thread three times for that one.

Poor(n) me.

 

I hope you're not a copy editor then.

 

Am I the only one relieved not to see a jar of vaseline and a box of Kleenix on his desk?

 

Among many things, yep, but not on Sunday mornings at 10 a.m. Just don't mute me like Woody Paige on Around the Porn.