Please help: Baseball hats

Uh......I actually do have the hats around as an example, as in I will put my Yankees hat on (or attempt to--since it is ruined-- "Damn, honey, you didn't wash my Yankees hat, did ya?")........

I have since told my beautiful bride that unless she finds a freshly taken shit adorning the inside of my hat, DO NOT WASH THEM........and even if she finds a Cleveland Steamer in my hat, she had better double check with me anyway.