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Please critique op-ed

Discussion in 'Writers' Workshop' started by Sheri, Aug 7, 2008.

  1. Sheri

    Sheri Member

    Just was hoping for a little feedback. To me, it just didn't flow snoothly as I had hoped when I read it after publication.
    Are you there George?

    Some things just can’t be fixed, like a grape Kool-aid stain on white carpet.
    Scrub, scrub and scrub, but like the famous Shakespearean spot, it’s not coming out.

    The human race is haunted–half by the things we wish we’d never done and half by the things we wish we had.

    The U.S. opened their tickle trunk last week and just like an old-fashioned jack-in-the-warbox, the CIA popped out with a shiny new report on terrorism.

    On the global economic disaster scale, the announcement registered as a 6.66. Tremors, shudders and cringes were felt around the world, emanating from the Wall Street epicenter.
    The CIA believes Pakistan’s government is collaborating with the Taliban.

    Remember the Taliban? They were ram-rodding Afghanistan, harbouring Osama bin Laden and duct-taping burkas to anything with feminine curves.

    According to the CIA, Pakistan was instrumental in assisting the exiled Taliban with the July 7 bombing of the Indian embassy in Kabul. Fifty-four people were killed in the attack.

    Are you there, George? It’s me, Sheri.

    Let’s recap. Dubya “wins” the election in 2000. Fast forward to September 11, 2001, America is under attack and the man in charge uses the word “dissing” in press conferences and has bankrupted at least two major corporations.

    Osama is responsible, the Taliban take shelter with the tall, insane diabetic and run for the Afghan hills. While bodies are still being pulled out from Ground Zero in New York City, Bush decides to shock and awe Afghanistan.

    The world is simultaneously horrified and enraptured. Scores of nations enlist to help “root out terrorism at any cost”. Dubya is suddenly more than a president’s son–he is a fearless leader and powerful nations march in his shadow, eager to follow him anywhere.

    Except to Iraq. Bush learned exactly where the buck stops and it was somewhere between Afghanistan and Iraq. America, the epitome and pioneer of attention deficit disorder became bored of the war against terrorism, choosing instead the more seductive oil battles.
    As the old adage goes, the crude is always blacker on the other side and there’s a weapon of mass destruction at the end of every pipeline. Thus, the war in Iraq begins and Osama reunites with Pakistan.

    World unity collapses, but stocks rise and a recession is kept at bay. In red, white and blue fashion, Kum & Go stations all through the U.S. stop selling patriotic bumper stickers and peddle decks of cards with an Iraqi assassination target featured on each one. A mass-produced moment passes and war moves from a tragic commodity to a tacky trend. So it goes.

    Today, the Taliban are making a comeback, Osama is still on the lam and Iraq is now breeding new terrorists faster than McDonalds can wrap a falafel burger.
    Bush nearly blows the entire world up. And Clinton was almost impeached? Blow for blow, someone got the wrong end of the exploding cigar there.

    Iran was recently in the hot seat for restarting their nuclear weapons program, Washington started spewing out threatening rhetoric and the world braced for war. (More war.)
    As it turns out, Iran wasn’t rebuilding the weapons program and the closest thing Iraq had to a WMD was an imported oil baron named George Bush.
    North Korea, vying for big daddy Dubya’s attention throws a Greyhound-esque fit, then builds and tests a nuclear bomb.
    Unconcerned, America sends more soldiers to slaughter in the streets of Iraq, the country without any Taliban, without WMD, without nukes and without Osama. To fight a war justified by lies which can never be won unless Bush borrows Pakistan’s radioactive tool kit.

    Though any rudimentary analysis proves alarming and even depressing, there’s always a mass distraction at hand to save the world from despair and thinking.

    Like, for instance, Operation Chinese Freedom, a non-political Olympic event in a communist country with a horrific human rights record.

    Instead of addressing China’s 3-1 male to female birth ratio, the world will watch beach volleyball.
    Why not bring the games to Darfur for a pleasant pause from genocide in the spirit of athleticism? High-jumping over mass graves, surely the Olympic experience could only lead Darfur to a brighter future.

    The Kool-aid stain remains the same–it’s only the people and temples that change.
  2. Stitch

    Stitch Active Member

    Overreaching. Factually incorrect about Iran. Why are world leaders still pressing Iran to open up? You said that Iran doesn't have a weapons programs, but that is your opinion only.

    As for the column, Bush bashing isn't unique and aren't there more important issues in your community to talk about.

    An op-ed piece needs a hook and if I'm some reader in a small community like yours, and I am relatively close to Maple Creek, I want to know what the newspaper's stance is on issues that matter.
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