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Planning your funeral

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Versatile, Jul 20, 2013.

  1. Versatile

    Versatile Active Member

    LongTimeListener conspired with Six Feet Under to put this in my mind: Have you ever thought or made plans or told others what you might want for your funeral?

    My feeling is funerals are more for the living, so loved ones should be allowed to decide what they need to grieve. But often that leaves a mess of disagreements, particularly when several people (multiple kids, parents and a wife, etc.) have different views of what should be done.

    Anyone have a family plot?
  2. Songbird

    Songbird Well-Known Member

    I advised my attorney that I want horses at my funeral and that it should be more of a party with great music.
  3. Vombatus

    Vombatus Well-Known Member

    My tombstone's going to be interactive. Push a button, and you might hear FREEBIRD. Or, maybe some Robin Williams jokes. I haven't come up with a complete tombstone podcast yet. Some mixture of music and dirty jokes.

    Make it a place where old friends will want to come and hangout with dead Wombat, drink some beer, listen to the podcast, then piss on some of the neighboring graves.
  4. LongTimeListener

    LongTimeListener Well-Known Member

    How did I do that?

    I'd be late to my own funeral.
  5. three_bags_full

    three_bags_full Well-Known Member

    This is a vivid reality in my house. We've gone through it a couple of times and now have it down to a science. I do it prior to each deployment.

    A longtime friend owns the funeral home that will process my remains -- unless I die in combat, and then I will be processed in Dover.

    I sat down with my friend once a couple of years ago and he detailed the process for me from top to bottom (heh, get it?).

    I then sat down at the computer and wrote all my wishes -- from the preacher to the songs I want played and where I'll be buried. I put it in an envelope and gave it to her, so all she has to do is mail it to my friend.

    It's certainly not an appealing process, but I'd rather have Mrs. t_b_f focused on the children should I die, rather than worrying about planning my funeral.
  6. KYSportsWriter

    KYSportsWriter Well-Known Member

    One of my buddies does the same thing.

    He's been to Iraq/Afghanistan/You Name It three or four times already and had a close call last time. He wants to know everything will be taken care of if something happens to him on his next tour -- assuming he gets called up again.
  7. Versatile

    Versatile Active Member

    I'm fascinated by it. I think if I were to plan my funeral, I would want my funeral procession to be "They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)."

    I also would demand no one talk about me in vague and/or dishonest terms. Tell a story but don't lie.

    And I want to be known as a great person and even better guy.
  8. Amy

    Amy Well-Known Member

    Although I think I want to be cremated, I have a plot where my father is and my mom will be buried. I think my sister and one brother have plots there as well. When my father died, I had a very hard time with the idea that we put daddy in a flimsy little box (we're Jewish and did a traditional burial in a simple pine box) and put him in the ground. After Craig was cremated, though - and I have no doubt that he would have wanted to be cremated - I later freaked out that we burned up his body. Maybe I should leave this one up to anyone who cares when I die. I don't have any feelings one way or the other about the ceremony associated with a funeral.

    I don't remember ever talking to Craig about what he'd want, but every one agreed that he'd want to be cremated. We never had any formal funeral for him. His sister, his kids, and I all received some of the ashes. One morning I went to a place that was meaningful to him, scattered some, read a few things to myself, sat and thought. I wanted to inter the rest of the ashes I have and have some kind of non-religious ceremony. At least in Florida, I couldn't do it without his oldest child signing off on it and his kids haven't decided what, if anything, they want to do. I know they haven't wanted to do anything serious or sad. I would very much like to have the (sorry to use this overused word) closure of a ceremony and have a formal place to visit. I have gone back to the place I scattered ashes on Christmas, his birthday, and the anniversary of his death, though.

    He wouldn't have wanted something sad, either, but what we did left me feeling a little empty. Don't get me wrong, it was a great cocktail party and lord he would have loved it. Maybe I'd be just as fucked up as I have been over his death but I feel like I may have dealt with it in a somewhat more healthy way if there had been a funeral.
  9. Mystery Meat II

    Mystery Meat II Well-Known Member

    So a band of horses and Band of Horses. Got it.

    Meanwhile, here's my request (and potential method of going out):


    Don't worry, guys. I have an electric stove.

    But I don't want a funeral. I don't like the idea of people being obligated to remember me in a specific way by a specific method at a specific time and place. Have my friends meet up at a favorite bar and drink Gulden Draak and Maker's Mark until their livers call Amnesty International. Do something nice for my mom if she outlives me, but if she doesn't, the rest of the family will be OK with making a donation to a church or charity of my choosing and remembering me privately (those in my generation would be welcome at the Draak/Maker's fiesta). I'll either write a hilarious and disturbingly witty obituary, or I'll just go "Mystery Meat. Dead." and leave it at that. Scatter my ashes somewhere poignant and important to who I was. Maybe split 'em between Krispy Kreme and Starbucks. Anyone who cries at the thought of me will have to put $5 in the Wuss Jar. I'll set up the PayPal for it. No scholarship fund in my name unless it goes to someone who promises to spend nine years over two schools and four majors to get a degree that won't help them in the least. I would have wanted it that way.

    And no viewing. Nobody needs to see that.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2014
  10. Bradley Guire

    Bradley Guire Well-Known Member

    I plan on donating my body to Cyberdyne.
  11. terrier

    terrier Well-Known Member

    I gotta put together a good set for the memorial service. Cremation, closed casket - I'd rather people remember the live me.
    Though Mrs. T. and I are only together in the eyes of the law, I probably still have responsibility for putting together hers - after her brother went suddenly last month, I don't think she trusts anyone else left in her family.
  12. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    Dan Gheesling did a good job planning his "funeral."

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