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Planning a wedding

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Rhody31, Feb 18, 2009.

  1. schiezainc

    schiezainc Well-Known Member

    Look, at the end of the day there is only one reason to go apeshit over a wedding....and that reason is if that's what you want.

    Me? Personally, I'd be happy with a small ceremony with only my closest friends and family. I don't need the fancy meal and the star-studded reception. In fact, chances are I'm going to hate the reception. That's just the kind of guy I am.

    I would rather spend the bulk of the money on the honeymoon because, really, that's the most important aspect of the wedding process. The honeymoon is the first chance you get to get off on the right start and at the end of the day, I ask you...

    Which would you rather have? A.) Fancy wedding that sets you back $20K or B.) Two week getaway to Hawaii, Vegas and Florida that sets you back (at the most) $6K total?
     
  2. ArnoldBabar

    ArnoldBabar Active Member

    [​IMG]

    Huh huh. Huh huh huh.
     
  3. trifectarich

    trifectarich Well-Known Member

    If it's a matter of finances, be open about it (because you'll learn soon enough that few things cause bigger problems than money). "OK, honey, going with Plan A is going to cost us around X. How do we plan on pulling this off?"

    I can't imagine a reception for 250. I would have had to pull in people off the street to get half of 'em.

    Good luck.
     
  4. Dyno

    Dyno Well-Known Member

    There is no proper form for that.
     
  5. Pancamo

    Pancamo Active Member

    Register at Bed Bath and Beyond. They will give you cash back on the gifts you don't want.
     
  6. spup1122

    spup1122 New Member

    I think Doc and I got married for somewhere between 5 and 8k. We bought flowers wholesale and had a friend who worked at a florist part-time teach us to do the bouquets. I designed our wedding invitations and we printed them on my mom's amazing photoprinter. We got a ton of stuff on ebay, including the invitation paper, my hairpiece, our napkins and other items. My mother-in-law bought part of our gift to the guests -- wine glasses with our names on them, which we filled with candy for them. We made our center pieces.

    I think hours were spent by my mom and I in Hobby Lobby getting candles and mirrors and fake flowers to practice the arrangements and 1900 other things. At the end of the day, I loved that we made 99 percent of our stuff ourselves. I felt like it made the wedding planning more special for me instead of just saying, "you're a florist, here's what we want" and letting others do everything.

    My only suggestion is to splurge on a photographer. Our photographer was $1600 and she did not get one single picture of me and my sister alone, together. She only gave me one picture of Doc and he's not smiling in it. She was inexpensive, but her portfolio looked decent, so we booked her. In retrospect, I wish we would have cut back on the sit down dinner (and done an afternoon wedding with finger foods) and paid more for an amazing photographer.
     
  7. BTExpress

    BTExpress Well-Known Member

    Our chapel was in a place so isolated it's not even on GPS devices. We even got lost ourselves trying to find it on the wedding day (even though we had been there two days before on a trial run).

    One aunt and uncle made two attempts to find the place on a trial run, could not, then said, "Sorry. We'll see you at the dinner afterward."

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2014
  8. cranberry

    cranberry Well-Known Member

    Rhody,

    It sounds simply like she's in denial about the economic parameters with which you're both faced, which is not really that unusual.

    The key is to walk her through it and let her make every decision, starting with the budget. Everything flows from that. She will then have a lot of smaller decisions to make: location, how many to invite, what to eat, music, church (or not).

    If you can't get through this exercise, you're going to be in for all sorts of nonsense.
     
  9. BTExpress

    BTExpress Well-Known Member

    ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
     
  10. spup1122

    spup1122 New Member

    Oh, where I'm from, any photographer under $3,000 is inexpensive. I've seen minimal photography packages that cost $6,000 and that's not including any printed pictures.
     
  11. OTD

    OTD Well-Known Member

    These are not valuable only in wedding planning. They have helped me stay married 25 years.
     
  12. mjp1542

    mjp1542 Member

    I got engaged a year ago, wedding is this June. What I've learned is the wedding business is one that still has yet to be dented by the current state of the economy. It's a racket, and unless you have tons of time on your hand it's hard to do it on a budget and still make everyone happy. Something has to be sacrificed.

    We have made our own invitations, which look very professional, for about a third of the cost that any vendor quoted us on even the most basic, boring invites. We are making our own centerpieces, table cards, pew bows and church floral displays. We're using a friend who does video work for a living and saving 50 percent on his normal cost. We've found a very, very good photographer who will shoot the entire day, hair salon to the last song, with two shooters, for $2,000, no prints included, but we will do that ourselves. We aren't going over the top with our reception only 120 people at a place that's reasonable (still $65 per head).

    Still, the money all adds up. It's not cheap. You might want to sacrifice the open bar, but people will notice and they will talk about it. You might want to skip out on the video (but IMO that is a big mistake). YOu might go photog on the cheap (please don't, as we know people who have and now they have little to remember their day by).

    The best advice I can give is this:

    1. Come up with a comfortable budget.
    2. Start by finding a reception site that is nice, big enough, serves decent food and communicates well with you. You will be dealing with them VERY OFTEN.
    3. Spend on a photographer. Don't skimp.
    4. NEGOTIATE EVERYTHING! Don't ever agree to the first price. These people often are their own bosses, so they can come down on prices.
    5. Take breaks. Remember this is supposed to be the best day of your life. Enjoy preparing for it.
    6. Be willing to comfort your fiancee. Undoubtedly things will go wrong. It's not the end of the world, but you have to console if need be.
    7. Remember that NOBODY cares as much about your wedding day as you and your fiance/ee do. Don't expect everyone to drop what they're doing to help you at all times.
    8. Make sure YOU are happy. It's your day, not your parents'/friends'/sister's/brother's/aunt's/grandmother's day.

    Since we were engaged, my fiancee has gotten into a car accident, totaling her very much alive car; her mother had to have heart surgery; my grandmother passed away; and she just found out she's getting laid off two weeks after the wedding. We're still keeping our heads up, and we know this will be a great day and anything that has/will happen won't change how happy we are.

    Enjoy the planning, don't stress too much, be supportive, and help out with whatever you can. We have a lot of skills from working in this business that can be used in the process. Take advantage of it. Good luck.
     
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