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Pickup lines that never, ever work

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by lono, Jun 23, 2006.

Page 4 of 17
  1. Double J

    Double J Active Member

    Here's some more good ones.

    Guy: Your father must have been a thief.
    Girl: Why do you say that?
    Guy: Because he stole the stars from the sky and placed them in your eyes.

    Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

    Guy: You must be wearing Windex pants. I can see myself in them!

    Guy: I'm like a glass of milk. I'll do your body goooood.
     
    Double J, Jun 24, 2006
    #37
  2. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    "Hi, I'm Ron Mexico"
     
    dooley_womack1, Jun 24, 2006
    #38
  3. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    Don't forget the tried and true: "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together."

    Some pick up lines kind of doomed from the start:

    Am I cute, or do you need another drink?
    Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
    Hey babe, did you just fart? Because you blew me away.
     
    The Big Ragu, Jun 24, 2006
    #39
  4. lono

    lono Active Member

    One dude I knew used to tell his now ex-wife, "Baby, it won't hurt you one bit and it'll make me feel a whole lot better."
     
    lono, Jun 24, 2006
    #40
  5. Googlaw

    Googlaw Member

    Uh ... I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me.
     
    Googlaw, Jun 24, 2006
    #41
  6. Double J

    Double J Active Member

    Reminds me of Sam Malone...."Not many people know this, but I happen to be quite famous."

    BTW, who's the bubbly one in your sidesaddle?
     
    Double J, Jun 24, 2006
    #42
  7. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    "Hey, babe, the probation's over; I can drink in bars now."
     
    dooley_womack1, Jun 24, 2006
    #43
  8. Dude

    Dude Well-Known Member

    "Do you sleep on your stomach?"
    "No."
    "Can l?"


    Also, once up at Penn State, me and some high school buddies went up to visit a friend going to school there. We were out up to no good and we started hitting on some chics. My one friend, bombed out of his gord, decided it would be a good idea to tell these girls, he's Notre Dame's kicker!

    While that's certainly an outlandish claim, it's somewhat believable on some basic level. Who knows? Maybe Notre Dame's kicker just knows someone out here and is just visiting?

    One problem. It was a Saturday in October. People that play football for Notre Dame tend to busy on days like that.

    Well this girl apparently wasn't a big football fan. It friggin' worked! She believed him and let him spend the night.
     
    Dude, Jun 24, 2006
    #44
  9. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    Kind of hate to admit it. And I never have done one-night stands. But when I was younger my friends and I would go out, drink and see what the most ridiculous shit we could get women to believe was. It wasn't about getting laid. Really. Well, at least for me it wasn't. In fact, if I was really interested in a woman, I wouldn't do it.

    It was about being completely ridiculous and finding women gullible enough to believe the unbelievable. I am positive I did the field goal kicker / punter more than once. I know "formula one driver" worked more than once. I could even do it with fake Eurotrash accented English. But those kinds of lies never seemed creative enough.

    I don't know why women can't resist a "Shakespearean Scholar." But it was a nearly full-proof rap that I had honed to perfection. If I drink enough I am sure I can still pull it off.
     
    The Big Ragu, Jun 24, 2006
    #45
  10. Jake_Taylor

    Jake_Taylor Well-Known Member

    We used to do the same thing. I told a group of girls my dad was the drummer in Blue Oyster Cult.
     
    Jake_Taylor, Jun 24, 2006
    #46
  11. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    "Hey, baby, do you think I NEED TO GET A FUCKIN' HAIRCUT?
     
    dooley_womack1, Jun 24, 2006
    #47
  12. Double J

    Double J Active Member

    "I'm a pilot. Yes, really. I had quite an adventure on my last flight. We had MUTHAFUCKIN' SNAKES ON THE MUTHAFUCKIN' AIRPLANE!"
     
    Double J, Jun 24, 2006
    #48
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