Pickup lines that never, ever work

Yes!

 

Him: "I'm a star on the [local college] football team"

Me: "I put together the [local college] football media guide this year. I don't remember seeing your picture. Nice try."

 

Got it.
Just trying to clarify.

 

Quagmire: Hey there, sweetie! How old are you?
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18? You're first!
Connie: MOM!
Quagmire: I like where this is going! Giggidy, giggidy, gi-gi-dy!

 

Hilarious. I had a guy last night try to tell me he was a world-class mountain biker who competed in nationals last year. I just told him that I didn't remember an [idiot's name] from Podunk, Montana. He left the bar. My cousin (all 6-0 of her) was crouched behind me laughing.

 

Now that's just disturbing. Gonna take awhile to get that mental image out of my head.

 

CI, you are a genius (for the sig poster, not for giving me props).

 

I do not envy the single females out there.

God, there are a lot of idiots out there ... :-X

 

'Hey, baby, come back to my place and I'll show you my 1999 NFL draft review. Turns out the Giants got pretty good value taking Luke Petitgout 19th.' [/Tim]

 

Some of my personal favorites:

1. Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
2. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but your name is Helga!
3. Your name must be Wilma Flintstone, because you make my bed rock.
4. How bout we go on a date? We'll have chicken, some sex...

Ok, No. 4 belongs to Champ Kind. WHAMMY!

 

[interrupting a man who is rambling about his life, trying to pick her up in a bar]
Karen Sisco: Andy. Really... who gives a shit?

A close second would be any of the fools who try to pick up the female ranger on "Walker."

 

I had a female roommate who worked in sports admin. and we made a game of going out to the bars, acting ditzy to engage guys in conversation, then talking them down when it came to sports. It was so funny to watch them try to bullshit that they knew about anything that wasn't on SportsCenter the night before.