People who go off the deep end

mike311gd · Apr 25, 2008

doubledown68 said:

Baron Scicluna said:

GBNF said:

spup1122 said:

Oh I so lied. Apparently his people called us while I was on my days off. He's going to be on our noon show. Our noon show that is watched by a bunch of 80-year-old women.

If it didn't mean I was here for 14 hours, I'd totally stay. Alas, I'd rather sleep.
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Good choice.

I feel very bad for the guy. Imagine growing up and being completely identifiable at THE BIGGEST NERD ON TV. Like, forever, whenever anyone's a nerd, it's He's like Screech. No explanation even necessary. It's one thing to be a geek growing up, it's a completely different thing to do it on television.
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Steve Urkel would like to have a word with you.
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I would argue Urkel would be more likely to be fucked up, mostly because his dorkdom came on prime time. But unlike Screech, Urkel grew up, as evidenced by the truly horrid "Stefon" episodes toward the end of the series.

As for Tori, you know what.. I think her to be the most doable for me. Down to earth, sexy. Kelly.. way too perfect, oddly shaped hips. I think we all knew Jessie was going to turn out to be a whore. But she's everybody's whore. Tori... she'd only be your whore.. and she'd be good at it too.
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Tori's bound -- pun intended ... you'll see -- to have whips and chains hiding under her bed. She's a sweetheart once you get past the rugged exterior.

DemoChristian · Apr 25, 2008

mike311gd said:

We got into the green room, and he was still getting dressed, so we sat on the couch, talking amongst ourselves -- but barely, because I'm pissing my self with excitement and nervousness. And there he was, wearing a dark blue Clarion University shirt. He came out smiling and shook our hands, "Hi, I'm Mario Lopez." I actually remembered my name and offered it in response.
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Was this before or after you legally changed it to Zac Morris?

Good story.

Mizzougrad96 · Apr 25, 2008

Chef said:

I would take bets that Gary Coleman is the most screwed up of everybody.
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I'm guessing the ghost of Dana Plato would argue that...

hockeybeat · Apr 25, 2008

Mizzougrad96 said:

Chef said:

I would take bets that Gary Coleman is the most screwed up of everybody.
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I'm guessing the ghost of Dana Plato would argue that...
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There was once a line on Family Guy that said something to the effect that "I'll do to you what life did to Dana Plato."

crusoes · Apr 25, 2008

Screwed up as a child star? Two words: Michael Jackson.

mike311gd · Apr 25, 2008

DemoChristian said:

mike311gd said:

We got into the green room, and he was still getting dressed, so we sat on the couch, talking amongst ourselves -- but barely, because I'm pissing my self with excitement and nervousness. And there he was, wearing a dark blue Clarion University shirt. He came out smiling and shook our hands, "Hi, I'm Mario Lopez." I actually remembered my name and offered it in response.
Click to expand...

Was this before or after you legally changed it to Zac Morris?

Good story.
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You really think I'm that bad? I might name my kid Zack, but that's as far as it goes. I'm not that big a loser.

forever_town · Apr 25, 2008

mike311gd said:

DemoChristian said:

mike311gd said:

We got into the green room, and he was still getting dressed, so we sat on the couch, talking amongst ourselves -- but barely, because I'm pissing my self with excitement and nervousness. And there he was, wearing a dark blue Clarion University shirt. He came out smiling and shook our hands, "Hi, I'm Mario Lopez." I actually remembered my name and offered it in response.
Click to expand...

Was this before or after you legally changed it to Zac Morris?

Good story.
Click to expand...

You really think I'm that bad? I might name my kid Zack, but that's as far as it goes. I'm not that big a loser.
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Zachary is a good boy's name.

One of my friends in college was named Zack.

mike311gd · Apr 25, 2008

forever_town said:

mike311gd said:

DemoChristian said:

mike311gd said:

We got into the green room, and he was still getting dressed, so we sat on the couch, talking amongst ourselves -- but barely, because I'm pissing my self with excitement and nervousness. And there he was, wearing a dark blue Clarion University shirt. He came out smiling and shook our hands, "Hi, I'm Mario Lopez." I actually remembered my name and offered it in response.
Click to expand...

Was this before or after you legally changed it to Zac Morris?

Good story.
Click to expand...

You really think I'm that bad? I might name my kid Zack, but that's as far as it goes. I'm not that big a loser.
Click to expand...

Zachary is a good boy's name.

One of my friends in college was named Zack.
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I'd probably go with a close friend's name or something like Brodie or Banky.

forever_town · Apr 25, 2008

Amusingly enough, I already had a son's name picked out.

Robert Carl.

dixiehack · Apr 25, 2008

mike311gd said:

BYH said:

Wait, you interviewed Mario Lopez??!

how many pairs of underwear did you go thru that day?
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Surprisingly, sir, I only needed one pair of underwear.

A friend of mine, with whom I'd been intimate on four occasions (including once on Feb. 4, 2006 -- the beginning; remember my New Year's change-falling-out-of-my-pants story? This is her), in February told me Mario Lopez was coming to do a Q&A at her college, and I told her I'd be there. That semester, she joined the newspaper on campus and was getting some really boring stuff; she was the newest news writer, so she got all the greatest assignments. Then I got the call: "I've been chosen to write a story on A.C. Slater," she said. "Uh, um, I, ..." I think I said. I asked her if it'd be cool if I got in on the interview, too, and she said it probably wouldn't be a problem. I made sure it wasn't.

She didn't know if the school would allow two people from its paper into the interview, so I called PR department, which was in charge of the booking, and told them my paper -- two hours away -- wanted to send me to write a story on Lopez, and they gladly agreed, saying it'd be great publicity for the small school in a competing college market. What they didn't know was my paper had no idea why I asked for the weekend off and knew nothing about Mr. Lopez -- or my obsession with The Bell.

I get down there on Friday night and start drinking with my friend, who clearly still wants something to do with me. After the last time we had sex, and she came back to visit me two weeks later and told me she "was late," I decided not to have sex with her again; what began as a friends-with-benefits thing turned into an obsession with me; she asked me out about a half-dozen times and completely threw herself at me every step of the way. And I never wanted to go out with her. But we're at this party, and we're on the beer pong table. One of her friends asks me, "So you down here to see Rachel?" And she laughs and says, "Are you kidding me? He's not here to see me. Mario Lopez is in town, and he's got a thing for him." I laughed. Then I nodded in agreement. Because the truth was I wasn't there to see her at all. The idea of sex with her was nowhere on my mind (and she's ranked first on my list in terms of performance) partly because of the aforementioned information, but mainly, I just wanted to see Lopez.

Finally, the night comes. It's April 1, 2006, and I've never been so excited in my life. We go over our questions for Lopez in the afternoon, and I'm not one to script an interview. But I give in because I'm sure I'll forget everything once I see Lopez, and I was pretty much right.

We got into the green room, and he was still getting dressed, so we sat on the couch, talking amongst ourselves -- but barely, because I'm pissing my self with excitement and nervousness. And there he was, wearing a dark blue Clarion University shirt. He came out smiling and shook our hands, "Hi, I'm Mario Lopez." I actually remembered my name and offered it in response. Then we sat back on the couch and let the tape recorders fly.

We discussed his childhood, growing up in Chula Vista, Calif, how his mom enrolled him in every kind of lessons to keep him out of trouble (that's why he drummed, wrestled, played football and danced on the show), his relationships with the SBTB guys, what that reputation has done for him, his new assignments (The Bold and The Beautiful, The Other Half, ESPN Hollywood, etc.), his aspirations (he wanted to be the male Kelly Rippa because she was so versatile), among plenty of other things.

At the end of the interview, we each got a picture taken with him, and I told him I was a big fan of The Bell. He looked at me, with a small afro growing under my blue Mets hat, and said, "I could tell." As we were leaving, he asked me if I'd ask a question if the show started to drag. He said, "Sit up front, and I'll give you a nod." Gladly, I said, "OK, you got it." And Rachel and I took our seats.

I recorded the entire show, and I've still got it on my recorder. About eight minutes or so in, he looked at me and nodded. So I raised my hand and said, "So you wrestled in school, right?" He said, "Yeah, I won a state championship." (He actually placed seventh in California tournament, if I remember correctly; I researched it for the article I penned.) Then I asked, "So, you could've really taken Nedick, right?" (Nedick was Valley's top wrestler on The Bell.) He was clueless and said, "Who?" "Nedick," I said. "He's a character on Saved By The Bell. ... You ever watched that show?" He laughed pretty hard, and said, "Man, you really are a big fan." It was one of the best moments of my life. Seriously.

After the show, he signed autographs. The whole auditorium was waiting in line, and my friend didn't want to wait. But I wasn't leaving without saying goodbye to Lopez. So we cut through the mile-long line, and he stopped what he was doing to talk to us. He shook my hand and thanked me for helping him out with the show, and I said it was really my pleasure. Then I asked him to sign my Mets hat, and he did: "Mike, Best wishes. Mario Lopez." I never put the hat back on my head. I carried it out to Rachel's car and told her it was going to be retired. Two years later, it sits on my DVD shelf, right next to my television, so I'm always reminded of that night.
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Fucking ponderous

EE94 · Apr 25, 2008

I gotta admit, Mike311gd's enthusiasm for SBTB intrigues me.

I don't get it, but it intrigues me how, as a I assume a heterosexual male, he would be so overt about it.

I'm probably too old to judge, but did the show have a cult "cool" cache.

I would have thought admitting one liked it, and more specifically, its male characters, in either high school or college would be like reciting the Torah at the Nuremberg rallies.

In other words, unwise.

I'm being serious, by the way, and would love an explanation how Mike navigated that whole scene

KYSportsWriter · Apr 25, 2008

mike311gd said:

DemoChristian said:

mike311gd said:

We got into the green room, and he was still getting dressed, so we sat on the couch, talking amongst ourselves -- but barely, because I'm pissing my self with excitement and nervousness. And there he was, wearing a dark blue Clarion University shirt. He came out smiling and shook our hands, "Hi, I'm Mario Lopez." I actually remembered my name and offered it in response.
Click to expand...

Was this before or after you legally changed it to Zac Morris?

Good story.
Click to expand...

You really think I'm that bad? I might name my kid Zack, but that's as far as it goes. I'm not that big a loser.
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You sure about that, pal?

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People who go off the deep end

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