Patton Oswalt goes back to school.

Patton Oswalt gave the commencement speech at his old high school. He starts out funny, naturally, but then goes on to give a great speech. Enjoy.


http://www.pattonoswalt.com/index.cfm?page=spew&id=83


All we got was the publisher of our local paper. I mean, Gary Sandy went to my high school!

 

I saw Oswalt a few years back.

Heckler: Why do you still do that stupid show (King of Queens)?

Oswalt: Because they pay me $50K a week to work three hours a day.

 

That's a fantastic speech.

 

I particularly love his mention of Chess King. I think I had some parachute pants from there back in the day. And by back in the day I mean 2002.

I think I got my first Member's Only jacket there as well.

 

He got into William & Mary with a 2.71 GPA?

 

Chess King was so awesome! I so desperately wanted a Fly Suit from Chess King.
Probably not a good idea for a 135-pound W.Va. white kid to be strutting around in a fly suit, but damn!

 

That was great.

I never bought anything from Chess King, but I bet I walked by the store 10,000 times in middle school, when all there was to do was walk around the mall.

 

When I was in college, I had a crush on a guy who worked at Chess King. I can't remember his name, but we had mutual friends.

That was the only time I ever went in that store.

 

I first saw him on Reno 911 as the Dungeons and Dragons guy. It was one of my favorite parts of the show.

 

Lemme guess. He had a fetish about fingers and weird shots?

 

Nope.

Just an accent.

 

NEITHER!