Parenting

WJ, as the father of a 7-month-old, let me echo waterytart's initial response -- it's great that you're thinking about that stuff, but for the first few months you might set the bar lower. We decided that if we did nothing more than keep our baby alive, it was a successful day.

Generally, I just want my son to grow up in a positive and emotionally healthy home. I want to make sure he gets exposed to as many things as possible -- try a musical instrument, try a few sports, try cooking -- foster what he takes to and ditch what he doesn't. We don't want to overwhelm him, but I always wonder what would have happened if nobody ever threw Michael Phelps into a pool or put a paintbrush into Salvador Dali's hand.

 

The question isn't "how", it's "why"

 

You have to watch the unintended consequences of pushing your bookish child to "be social." For example, my birth mother was happy reading in her room or being out in the woods with her dogs, but her mom kept pushing her to be social. So, in apparent revenge, she took the instructions to the nth degree and got pregnant with me.

 

I think you just hit the nut graf right there. It's about making your kids well-rounded and mature. Sure, I'd want my kids to play sports and be physically active, but I also want him to learn a variety of skills.

 

Of course. There are varying degrees of everything.

 

Interesting article.

I'd say that, seven years into this parenting 'thing' and 2 kids later, I feel pretty "on top" of it. Much more than 7 years ago when I was terrified of what's to come.

I actually think it's really simple...

- Be willing to sacrifice some $$$ for the "quality time". If that means living in a smaller city but with better hours, think hard about it. It's not what you make, it's what you clear. I'll take 40k in a smaller city where my child care costs are minimal or zero over 70k in a bigger city, even if it means more money.

As for the parenting itself:
- Spend 10-15 minutes a day reading to your child, even when they are an infant. Let them pick up the candence of language. Shoot -- read them sports columns until they are 2 and then do the easy books. Repeat daily until first grade.

- Your interests will become their interests. Never forget this. If you like sports, they'll like sports. If you like to say bad words...they'll say words.

- Talk to them all of the time. I credit my incessant vocalizing to my son -- as a frustrated ex-radio talk show host -- for why his language skills are advanced. I would just start spouting about this or that and, now at age 6, we can have reasonable debate about some political and sports issues. It's fun, silly and educational all in one.

- There is nothing wrong with 'hovering', within limits. It is a different world than when many of us were growing up 30 or 35 years ago. You can't be too safe but you can be too paranoid, if that makes sense.

- Fight for your kid on programs and other educational opportunities. That goes with sports. Instead of being vocal -- if they are interested in sports, use what you know about helping them start programs that will help them out and not be a waste of time.

- Tell them they're smart every single day. Even when they do really dumb things.

- Finally, the really pretty mommies usually drive Honda Odyssey or Toyota Sienna minivans. If you see a clump of those at your neighborhood park, find a way to stop and socialize.

Be a parent with passion. So many just go through the motions. This is your new life and be ready to meet the challenges -- it's hard but, when they "get it", extremely rewarding.

 

Reading the textbooks doesn't mean actually doing the schoolwork. That was the biggest discipline issue with me. I'd swear I was doing fine right up until report card day, when somehow I'd have at least one of every letter and no explanation as to how I got such awful grades I some classes.

Parents call teachers, teachers say Little Rick has aced every test and turned in one out of 10 homework assignments, Rick apologizes and promises to do better. Repeat.

One semester, my dad finally did follow through on his threat to make arrangements with the school for him to sit in on my classes and make sure I was doing the assignments. He made it through one class before admitting he'd forgotten how boring school was and couldn't take it.

It's all about the battle of wills.

 

I think Dali would have still been crazy. Just not "artistic."

 

Best advice yet.

 

Honestly, it sounds like you were a big pain in the ass as a kid.

 

I wish I could say I grew out of it.

 

Uh, Ryan, I hate to tell you this, but you don't know what you're talking about here...