Parenting

Excellent points.

I use "because I said so" very, very rarely. It's a powerful discussion-ender when one of my children is being unusually obstinate. But if I were to use it more often than I do, it would lose its effectiveness pretty damn quickly.

 

Agree with Double J.

 

My parents weren't soft, though, I hope I'm not giving that impression. But there was nothing they could dish out that I couldn't take. I've heard stories of three-year-old RickStain responding to "Do that and you'll get a spanking" with a few seconds of thought followed by "I'll take the spanking and do it."

 

Kinda like in Good Will Hunting.....Kid could choose the stick or the crow bar. (or something like that)...

I chose the crow bar.
Why?
Cause fuck him. That's why.

Then again, his parents beat the living shit out of him. I'm guessing/hoping that didn't happen to you. It just seems as if you were an onery (sp) kid. I was too. Most everyone is.

 

Loved those questions you'd get as a kid - "do you want a spanking?"

"Well, sure, mom - why don't you violate me with a wine bottle while you're at it?!"

 

Bingo.

Love the hell out of your kid. I'm guessing that is the best starting point. Where they want to go with that (within good tatse and reason) is up to them. That's why it's their life.

 

I have also noticed that I do almost everything my parents love to do.
I cook.
I love my yard.
I love sports.
My little girl watches me do all three of these, and I am sure in time she will have similar interests without me even pushing.

 

We need to make sure Waylon's kids get him nothing but "World's Greatest Dad" gear for his birthday, Christmas and Father's Day -- and that they nag him whenever he's not wearing it. Oh, and that's it's always festooned with the photo buttons of his kids' sports pictures.

(Though I understand your desire not to wear affiliated travel team gear.)

 

My parents' philosophy was that there was nothing wrong with the occasional swat until the kid is old enough to understand more subtle forms of punishment, such as grounding. I was mostly a pretty well-behaved kid, but my main goal in life was to be left alone in my room, and I'd fight pretty hard against anything that conflicted with that.

It left my parents in a bind. How do you punish a kid who would be perfectly content sitting his room all weekend reading his textbooks?

 

Yup. That's usually the way it works.

Parent acts right, child usually acts right.
Parent smokes crack, child usually smokes crack.

Not always, but usually.

 

If she does not follow verbal instyructions, we smack Lil 93's hand when she keeps grabbing for the wrong thing (dog dish for example). You have to do what you have to do.

 

Oh, there are plenty of ways to "punish" a kid who would be content sitting in his room. Punishment doesn't always have to be "go to your room and don't come out."

Hell, take the kid downtown and make him volunteeer at the homeless shelter.