Parenting

Well, the good thing about parent-child fights? The parent always wins.

 

"I don't care how happy it makes him"......well, there's a great parenting philosophy.

Some expectant parents can't wait for Little Johnny to arrive so he can play T-ball, soccer and sign him up for hockey Then they're disappointed to find out that when the kid's about about eight or nine that they have no interest in any of that and would rather spend that time doing something artistic or at least non-athletic. Doesn't preclude them from doing outdoor activities. And they learn social skills at school and within the family as well.

 

I'm not even sure you've ever even met a real-life kid if you think that's true

Parent-child fights are battles of will. And since the kid is genetically yours, they are usually at least an even match.

 

Waylon, you really need to hope there is no such thing as equilibrium in the universe. If there is, and you persist in these notions about the importance of your dignity, you are going to be puked, peed and shat on so much more than the average parent. ;D

 

Well, JR, it seems like you have your parenting down pat. Why are you so worried about how I'd raise my kid?

And I never said I'd be the kind of parent who would shove sports down my kid's throat. Not at all. But starting from a young age, my kid would get acclimated to outdoor activities. It's really that simple.

 

All I know is how I was raised. And in my house, when my parents wanted something done, it generally happened, no matter how hard I fought against it. They wanted the yard mowed. I'd mow it. They want my room cleaned, I'd clean it. Sometimes, I didn't like having to do certain things, but I did them because I was told to do them. That's just the way it worked at my house. Others could have had vastly different experiences. I can't speak for everyone else.

 

When my dad wanted me to mow the lawn, I did the worst job I possibly could. And when he'd send me out again, I'd do the same thing. He was either going to have to live with an awfully mowed lawn or physically move my arms and legs to make me do it the way he wanted.

 

I remember being pissed at having to do things. It caused some knock-down drag-outs. Part of that was my pestilence. But I think that part of it was my dad's: "Because I said so" stance.

I know this makes me a modern, namby pamby parent-to-be, but I have no problem explaining to a child, in as simple terms as he/she can understand, that the reason you have to cut the grass, take out the trash, etc., etc., is because we all live here together and to be a family, we all have to contribute because that's how families - and communities really - operate.

I just don't believe much in, "Because I said so." Seems to do more harm than good, i.e. breeding resentment and also staunching a child's understanding of responsibility and community.

 

It's obvious we grew up in very different environments.

 

My daughter is 15 months old. So far, my philosphy has been to love her and let her do whatever makes her happy - as long as it's safe.

She tried to stand on her little rocking chair the other and I eventually had to put it away because she wouldn't stop trying.

But if she was to tear all her plastic bottles out of the drawer they're stored in, in the kitchen, so be it - as long she puts them back.

She has a basketball net and fake vanity. She has dolls and a farm set. I couldn't care less which she plays with, as long as she's happy.

 

I love the idea of patting Little Digress on the back and sending her out to play. Begs the question, with whom? Kids don't range anymore, for a variety of reasons. Admittedly, she's still too young. Although at her age, I was free to roam the street in daylight hours. That's a contradiction that confounds me.
In another year or so, I think her particular group will be running the neighborhood. But the truth is, doesn't just matter what I think. It's what the friends' parents think, too.

 

Of course. That's how it's supposed to work. And that's how it worked in my house. My dad wasn't a "because I said so" kind of dad...at least not all the time. Things were explained, and generally, I accepted that. Did I always agree? Nope. But I usually did what I was told.

There are exceptions to every rule.