Parenting Thread

Not a parent, but some advice from what I know are the differences between my brother (10 years younger) and I:

Read to them, and make it fun.

Encourage them to read, and let them see you reading.

Ask them questions about what they read. And give them books that are just a little too hard for their age.

When you're going on a car trip, tell them to bring books, not gameboys and crap.

These days, you actively have to make your kid a reader, or they won't be one. And I think that's sad.

 

Question for those of you with more than one child:
How did you know you were ready or could handle the second...or the third? My daughter turned 4 this month. I always believed that I wanted at least two children, maybe even three or four. My wife feels the same way. But I just can't seem to come to the decision that I am ready for another one. The wife is and her hints aren't in the same area code as subtle anymore. I was so excited for the first one...now I am scared that I am not ready to handle a second one...if we would be lucky enough to have a second one.

 

Oh, I hear that. Mine's nearly four and the various list of ways she can tell me that she isn't going to listen is getting impressive.

 

Leather, I was in a similar state of mind prior to the arrival of our second. Actually, I never really felt ready for the first, now that I think about it.

Honestly, I've found dealing with two isn't a whole lot harder than dealing with one. My first-born has some developmental delays, which come with their own problems, so maybe having the second didn't feel that hard because my son was (and is) such a handful at times.

 

Will, this sounds like the type of kid that needs to be institutionalized and sooner rather than later. Perhaps not permanently, but until he gets on some sort of medication. This kind of behaviour taken to the extreme and you end up with a situation like the one in Florida where you have a 12-year old killing a 6-year old girl his mother is "watching."

Anger issues mixed with ADD are a very dangerous combination, particularly since someone in that kindergarden or pre-school class could very well end up getting seriously hurt. I'm not saying he is a menace to society yet, nor am I saying lock him up and throw away the key, but if the family is incapable of controlling him, he needs to be taken out of harm's way until they can.

 

It really doesn't get measurably tougher until the third one and beyond. The second one is a little more work because, unlike with the first one, you have to split your energy between the two.

Generally, however, it isn't bad. The third one, however, becomes a lot more work and also leaves your second one with a lot of middle child issues that can sometimes be tough to deal with.

 

a friend of mine put it best when we were having our third: "you'll go from playing man-to-man to a zone." ;D ;D ;D

 

Can't I just shuck and jive?!?!?

Thanks for advice, I agree sports is a great thing on a number of levels.

Looking forward to all the aawww and holy shit moments that go along with kids.

 

You want your answer?

Limits. Consistency. Punishment.

PUNISHMENT. Consistent punishment. And she needs to start now before the kid is calling in bomb threats as a junior higher.

 

Rosie is absolutely 100 percent, dead-nuts-on here. Kids need to be disciplined. Not abused, but disciplined. It is their nature to push the limits and your responsibility to set and enforce those limits.

And here's the deal: 1. Even though it's hard sometimes to punish your kid(s), it's a helluva lot easier to nip problems in the bud than it is to fix them down the road. 2. In the long run, both you and the kid(s) will be much happier if they grow up with discipline and responsibility in their lives.

Leather: Many years ago, my father was freaking out about having a second kid (who turned out to be me). He didn't think he could love another child as much as he loved his daughter. His mother took him aside and said, "Don't worry, you'll grow another heart." Great advice.

My two kids are very different and special in their own ways. And while I had some trepidation about having a second child, it worked out fine.

And as for the mom with the psycho 5-year-old, seems to me the problem is the mom, not the kid. She's in deep denial about his problems and she won't discipline him. No wonder he's a mess.

 

I learned a lot from the occasional whooping. My Marine father was a very kindhearted man, but when he started to take his belt off (more for effect than anything), it was time to stop fucking around and everyone knew it. And on the long trips in the car, it didn't matter who started the grabass in the back seat, somebody was going to get the wooden spoon on the hand and that would be that.

I was at the supermarket a few weeks ago and there was a small kid raising Cain -- really, to the point where it was disruptive and embarrassing -- and mama gave the kid candy.

 

Great advice lono! You'll grow another heart. What a wonderfully sweet way to look at having another child. I have struggled with that same concept, wondering if I could ever love another child as much as I love my Little Man.