Pamela Anderson really likes men who make sex tapes

She's gotten a marriage license to marry Rick Salomen, the man in Paris Hilton's sex tape.

 

Some guys have all the luck.

 

Dang it, I thought for sure she was hooking up with Screech.

 

The fact that a sex tape of her and Kid Rock never surfaced is a minor miracle. I'm sure a tape of her and this fine gentlemen who spends his time with classy, elegant and graceful women will surface.

 

But Kid did have a sex tape featuring strippers and Scott Stapp. . .

 

So this tool has had Paris Hilton and Pam Anderson?

Well, at least he's traded up.

 

And Shannen Doherty (sp), who he was married to when the Paris tape came out.

I'm going to go shoot myself for knowing all that.

 

Sounds like we need to add sportschick to the dude's list.

 

He's not my type. He has too many muscles and is far too old for me

 

It might be a good time to get one of these:

 

Tough standards! Whose gonna break the bad news to Jack La Lanne?

 

Ok...he already had sex with Paris Hilton, and we can only imagine where she's been.

Now he has moved on to Pamela Anderson. Remember all those public service ads reminding us that you are not only sleeping with your partner, but everyone they have been with? Imagine that list for Pam Anderson. Now, something scarier. Imagine the lists of Tommy Lee and Kid Rock.

I keep thinking of Eddie Murphy's joke, where he is rolling his equipment out there as if it is craps dice.

"What does it mean when I go to pee and fire shoot out my dick?"

"You mean you feel a burning sensation...."

"No, I mean FIRE COMES SHOOTING OUT OF MY DICK!"