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Pallister Goes Shirt Shopping (or; The Greatest Amazon Listing Evar)

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by zeke12, May 21, 2009.

  1. zeke12

    zeke12 Guest

  2. imjustagirl

    imjustagirl Active Member

    Just a few scissor snips away from awesome.
     
  3. zeke12

    zeke12 Guest

    I think we should all chip in and buy him the Zubaz.
     
  4. imjustagirl

    imjustagirl Active Member

    Oh, you mean Customers Who Viewed This Item...the customers who bought just bought more t-shirts. The ones who viewed....well I like the last item.
     
  5. zeke12

    zeke12 Guest

    If Amazon was on the ball, they'd package the wolf shirt, the penis book and the Zubaz all together, for easier shipping.
     
  6. imjustagirl

    imjustagirl Active Member

    They can call it the 'pallister pack.'
     
  7. Angola!

    Angola! Guest

    Best comment I've seen so far:

     
  8. zeke12

    zeke12 Guest

    I have a confession to make: I was skeptical at first. Not of the phenomenal power of the t-shirt -- no, I have learnt to trust the Internet as soon as I glanced at the t-shirt -- but of my puny L-sized girth's ability to contain the awesome power of three wolves and moon. I was assured that all sizes of the t-shirt would contain said wolves and moon due to some complex extradimensional properties of the fabric, but would I feel less of a man if I didn't wear the largest size?

    I hit upon the idea of buying all the sizes between mine and the largest available, and wearing them in layers. The following is a cautionary tale.

    I wore the first shirt, and I could feel the icy cold polar winds cooling my mind. I felt my hands first go numb, then tingle with warm energy that seared from my fingertips up to chest. I did not wait to try the initial mystic powers of this shirt as others have, but in foolish haste wore the next one on top.

    Lo and behold, a portal opened on my chest and brilliant white light emanated from it. My ears rang with the voices of generations of Ancient Wolves -- who all spoke like James Earl Jones -- whispering to me, revealing dark secrets in an unspeakable tongue. My mind latched on to the highest level of consciousness as the underlying structure of the Universe, nay, Multiverse was revealed to me.

    The lifeforce Ki coursed through my body, replacing the very blood that flowed through my veins. I heard my heart beat faster and faster until all I heard was a sinister, syncopated hum. My mouth was too feeble to parse my mind, and all I could do was babble, but I watched my primitive babblings take form outside my mouth and contort in fantabulous forms, twisting reality as they moved in their primitive ways. I felt a butterfly flutter its wings halfway around the world. I felt the oceans ripple with the sound of the deepest whale in the world.

    I realized that I was attaining a new balance, as the wolves are male priests, who with their howls, were invoking the Apollonian half of the All-Mind -- for my mind was no longer just my own -- and the feminine Moon harkens to the Dionysian half.

    It is in this state of bliss that I gazed upon the true nature of Humanity and I was saddened, and I yearned for a lesser understanding. My hands regretted as they pulled away the upper t-shirt.

    I now continue to live my life simply, attracting women as the others before me have done. I wear the size that fits me, and I burned away the rest. After all, it's not the size that matters, but how it is used.

    But there are nights when I awaken in a cold sweat unable to recall what I dreamt of, and inside my skull, I feel the feet of black reptiles scatter away into the dark recesses of my mind.
     
  9. 93Devil

    93Devil Well-Known Member

    Seriously, how did you stumble upon this?

    I would say thank you in Mongol tongue, but a Vulcan mind-meld might work. Focus on the rising moon.
     
  10. zeke12

    zeke12 Guest

    Never too early to start Christmas shopping, Devil.
     
  11. Madhavok

    Madhavok Active Member

    If it wasn't $17 for an L or XL I'd be all over this.

    I did pick this up today:
    [​IMG]
     
  12. Trey Beamon

    Trey Beamon Active Member

    On pally's Amazon.com wish list:

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2014
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