Paging Freelance Hack: The 5 Burgers Likely To Give You a Heart Attack

My headline, not theirs. I say we pool our money and raise $500. If Freelance can polish off the Burger King NY Pizza Burger in an hour or less without upchucking, he gets the money!

http://health.yahoo.net/experts/eatthis/worst-burgers-america

 

Ooh, another opportunity t pimp my favorite burger joint, Kuma's.

This one's for you, BYH:

The Pantera
Roasted Poblano Pepper, Bacon, Chedder and Monterey Jack, House made Ranchero Sauce, Tortilla Strips - $12

But this is the more fitting for this thread:

The Slayer
Pile of fries topped with a ½ lb. Burger, Chili, Cherry Peppers, Andouille, Onions, Jack Cheese, and Anger - $13

 

Mmmmmmmmmm, anger.

 

Can someone suggest a buffalo chicken burger so Spnited can come over and get this party started?

 

He's busy eating an authentic NYC eggplant burger.

 

I've thought about it. I prefer my anger on the side.

 

Can I substitute anger for shame and self-loathing?

 

Both of those sound amazing.

 

No substitutions.

 

Special orders upset you?

 

Pantera one comes served with a side of crippling heroin addiction. And every 10th is delivered by a deranged, gun-toting fan (too soon?).

 

If they made a Metallica burger, everyone would swear the one they had yesterday was better than the one they're serving today.
And the Poison burger would actually be a chicken sandwich dressed up to look like a burger.