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Overwritten or Not?

Discussion in 'Journalism topics only' started by Boom_70, Apr 19, 2010.

  1. Boom_70

    Boom_70 Well-Known Member

    Just finished Verducci story on Jayson Heyword in this weeks SI. Some good stuff but seemed a tad overwritten, syrupy and cliche filled. Felt like I was reading "The Natural II.


    Here is a sample:

    "As Jason stepped into the lefthand batter's box in the first inning for his first at bat, the crowd of 53,081 chanted, "Let's go, Hey-ward!" There were two runners on, and hard-throwing Cubs righthander Carlos Zambrano, a four-time All-Star, was on the mound. Zambrano opened with two attempts at intimidation: angry fastballs near Heyward's body. The kid calmly took them both for balls.

    Zambrano came back with a third fastball, headed for the inside half of the plate. Heyward tapped his front foot and placed it back down ("Like a dance step," Braves hitting coach Terry Pendleton says), uncoiled his massive body and brought his bat to meet the ball with more violence than beauty. Heyward doesn't so much swing as slash, bringing his hands down and then flat through the strike zone. Like a purely struck one-iron, Heyward's blasts are line drives with backspin. His home runs don't soar, they scream and climb. "You wouldn't teach someone to hit that way," Pendleton says. "Me, I just leave him alone."
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