Open letter to the AP on baseball ...

Dear Associated Press sports desk,

Perusing the wire tonight, I couldn't help but notice item T0282 slugged "Yankee rejects face off in Game 2."

The Ronald Blum-penned story ledes with the fact that Game 2 starters Jeff Weaver and Kenny Rogers are New York Yankee rejects.

Normally, in dealings like this, I would maintain a level of decorum that would try to achieve the highest level of professionalism. But since I'm on an anonymous message board, allow me to pay you the compliment of being blunt.

DO YOU REALIZE THAT NO ONE OUTSIDE OF THE TRI-STATE AREA GIVES A RAT'S ASS THAT THESE TWO ARE YANKEE REJECTS!

Seriously, I'd really like to know what news judgment was used when the choice was made to send this out on the national wire. Who among you thought that the rest of the nation was so compelled by yet another story that really has nothing to do with the Yankees, but needed a Yankee angle nonetheless?

I often hear how fly-over country is provincial and close-minded. Perhaps. But how dumb is it that the New York bureau seems to think we all crave New York angles on our sports stories like its crack cocaine?

It's not that it was a bad story, it would be a fine story for the New York, New Jersey and Connecticut bureaus, maybe to other bureaus in the northeast too.

But I can assure you that very few people on the sunny side of the Applachian Trail gives two shits about ex-Yankees. I work in a baseball-mad area. There are four teams that can claim significant fan bases. The Yankees are not one of them.

I might add that Weaver and Rogers are more than just Yankee rejects. Weaver is a Dodger reject. Rogers is an A's, Mets, Yankees, Rangers reject, and I'm probably forgetting one.

And you know, it just freaking occurred to me, Weaver IS AN EX-TIGER! How 'bout THAT angle instead of the fucking ex-Yankee bullshit the story ledes with? Oh, but let's bury that in the seventh graph, gotta have that NYC flavor!

The AP prides itself, to the point of arrogance at times, on its supposed uniformity. Fine. I have a request.

Ronnie Belliard is an ex-Brewer reject on the Cardinals. Can we move that story on the wire? Can that story be written? Can it move on the national wires? I'd like to read it, and given my Milwaukee-centric ways, I have no doubt that the rest of the country would be enthralled by it. :

I'm sure there are others like me who want stories tailored to their own teams. Weaver and Jim Edmonds are ex-Angels, there's one, and probably 24 others like it.

I'll be waiting for those. Until then, you might want to take your head out of the ass of your NYC media culture and try to think and make news judgments like the national bureau your supposed to be.

Sincerely,
Bubbler

 

Other than the unreadable type and the reference to Jared (Jeff) Weaver, that was exceptional.

 

Oh shit, Weaver references corrected. Kind of like Belushi with Pearl Harbor and the Germans, I was on a roll.

 

(Spoiler alert)

It's readable if you run your cursor over it. ...

 

Ha! That's a great story.
We've been joking since the rotations were announced how fucked up it is that two pieces of shit who gagged in New York are starting Game 2 of the World Series that nobody cares about.

 

Fuck you and your New York-ness, you Fiorella La Guardia-hugging pain in the ass!

 

Now that, Bubs, is a great fucking post!

 

Yankee reject Jose Contreras had himself a decent postseason last year.

 

Ex-Yankee Joe DiMaggio's tongue once touched Marilyn Monroe's privates.

Ehhh, on second thought, maybe not. Joltin' Joe strikes me as a guy who would be too proud to go down on a woman.

 

Great. Now I'm going to be haunted by visions of DiMaggio's bucked teeth every time I'm ... never mind. What were we talking about?

 

Forget it Doc. There have long been rumors that the short-lived DiMag-Monroe marriage was never consummated.

 

Jesus, I mean I can see the Yankee Clipper not digging the taste of a clitoris, but not fucking? At all? That decision is to awesome stupidity as his hitting streak is to unbreakable records. Say it ain't so, Joe, don't put the pussy on a pedestal.