One Sentence

I am.

 

Sirs, Madames,

I felt sorry for myself because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no dick.

YD&OHS, etc

 

When I would go for day-long walks in the hanging-moss woods out the outskirts of town in the sticky, Southern summers of my childhood, with my Golden Labrador and my cypress-wood staff that I found and carved, sometimes great, blue-grey thunderstorms would catch me miles from home and all I could do was be wet and watch the honeysuckle flowers nod in the breeze and hear the snare-drum riff of the fat, subtropical drops hitting the kudzu leaves and watch the rain turn the surface of the creek into thousands of tiny explosions, I would hear and watch and the dog would become solemn and still and the dog and I noticed everything, like children notice everything, and how strange that I wouldn't pay attention to a rainstorm like that again until one day three decades later when I was riding my bike through a wheatfield and feeling old and feeling my knees and feeling my little beer belly hanging off my torso as I pedaled and hating my age and hating the fuck out of the Oklahoma Panhandle, when suddenly a great, blue-grey thunderstorm caught me miles from home and all I could do was be wet and watch the ash-colored earth turn to graphite mud and see the crop stubble nod in the wind and hear the bundled thumping of a million frail, high-plains raindrops landing on the grateful, exhausted earth and I heard and watched and I noticed everything, and I was a child again although still old and God damn it I bet that Golden Retriever would smile that snaggletooth grin of his if he could see me now, all grown up and wet in the rain in this fucking wheatfield.

 

Irish said it right.

 

I did it.

 

If someone from the States gets nailed at centre ice, is it center ice?

 

It's better than 'taking it in the five-hole'.

 

Today was a beautiful day.

 

On the web-site, most are not stories. Here too.

 

I knew you couldn't possibly do one sentence.

 

The secret of life is to try not to hurry, but don't wait.

(Yes, it's from a Faith Hill song. That doesn't make it any less true.)

 

Also doesn't make it a story.