Old technology you have to explain to kids

Not only do I use a key to unlock my car, but it only has a key entry on the driver door. So if I have to put my dog in the car, I have to unlock the driver side, hit the unlock button, then walk around the car to put him in.

 

Tell that dog to get his own car.

 

He only has one eye. He'd never pass the test.

 

You've got a cyclops dog?
That's unbelievably cool. Where do you get a dog like that? Is it like a special order or something?

 

He came from a hoarder, asshole.

He also is allergic to protein. He's a ball of special needs.

 

Dammit, just can't do it

 

As long as he doesn't get a blister on his wanker, he's staying ahead of this board.

 

By humping other dogs at the dog park, he's already ahead of this board.

 

So the eye is not centered? That is kind of disappointing.

I'm not usually a fan of clothing or accessories for dogs, but in your dog's case an eye patch would probably make him the coolest dog on the block.
Your dog could be the canine Snake Plissken orr Peter Gatien.

 

I do all the time.

It's stupid to whip out a credit/debit card to pay for $1.59 pop and a candy bar. Or even $10 for lunch.



Now excuse me, I have to go yell at some kids to get off my lawn.

 

It was ok though, because the cord was long enough to reach from the TV to the couch.

 

Yes, it is.

But where on earth can you get a Coke *and* a candy bar for $1.59?