Old-school sports parenting

I agree.

I just wish that when people complain that a teacher makes only $35,000 and the 3rd team utility inf. makes $2M they look in the mirror and realize why. If "we" really want our best for our kids, "we" should put our $ where our mouth is.

 

Guys (and women?) ... it's been fun reading your comments about my website. I get a fair amount of feedback from the site, itself, and the vast majority is very positive. So it's refreshing -- and helpful -- to see disagreement. Many of you have either misread or misunderstood my opinions, though. For example, I do not encourage "sport specialization." Nor were my kids "hot shit." I could go on, but I'd rather correspond with you individually, if you care to. My direct email address is mbrusko@aol.com. Otherwise, thanks for reading. Mike Brusko, www.oldschoolsportsparenting.com

 

Thanks for stopping by Mike

 

I can still see my mother in her sunhat sitting out behind the center field fence reading her Clavell books because she didn't want to be around the rest of the idiots.

 

My last year of Little League:

I played RF. ZERO errors, eleven assists, including two throw-outs to 1b on ground balls hit to RF. Hell, I even caught a ball over my shoulder Willy Mays-style three strides from the chain-link fence, which I managed to take a step onto and scale up and over.

I hit .668. A handful of homers, was a single shy of hitting for the cycle in one game (SOB coach of the other team walked me intentionally to keep it from happening. Fucking prick). I hit to opposite fields, hit for power, you name it.

I subbed as a closer for three games. 0.00 ERA with two hits and two walks surrendered in 4 2/3 innings.

I'm 41 years old now. Why do I remember all of this like it was yesterday?

BECAUSE THE GODDAMN COACH, A FUCKTARD NAMED "DOOD" STRANGE, A MAN WITH "SWEET" AND "SOUR" TATTOOED PRISON-STYLE OVER EACH OF HIS NIPPLES, VOTED HIS SON ONTO THE ALL-STAR TEAM INSTEAD OF ME!!!

This was a kid who "played" center field. A kid who couldn't hit the blue side of a red barn, as my algebra teacher would say. A kid who couldn't even hit his weight in batting average. A kid who tucked his glove under his armpit and stood in center field with both hands down his pants. A kid who managed to find a way to fall asleep standing up.

While this suckass kid of his was standing out there wondering how much his ears weighed, I was coming over from RF to catch the fly balls and chase down the grounders. It got to the point where I had to virtually stand in center field in order to keep us in the game; hell, everyone knew that if you hit it his way, you're looking at no less than a double.

I found out with two games left that I didn't make the all-star team, in spite of my outstanding statistics, but he did. In the last innings of the last game (we were down like 800-3), a hard, bouncing grounder was hit toward him in center. I did nothing and let the ball hit the kid in the chest. His dad, "Coach Dood," let me have it when we came back in to bat.

One of the biggest regrets I've ever had in my life is that I didn't stand up to him and snap back.

If kids' team sports teaches you anything, it's that life ain't fair, even when you're having a career season. Fuck you, Coach Dood. You're such a shithead, you can't even spell "Dood" correctly. Have fun handing out stickers at Wal-Mart, you fuckass fucker.

 

Yeah, people don't take sports seriously enough nowadays.

 

That was ranterrific.

 

I'm feeling ya, westcoast. I'm feeling ya.

 

Westcoast, that was fantabulous.

 

DONNIE
....do you know who I am?

THURSTON
You're a friend of the family I presume?

DONNIE
What? What does that mean?

THURSTON
Nothing special, just a spoke in the wheel.

DONNIE
You talk in rhymes and riddles and ra...rub-adub --- but that doesn't mean anything to me, see....see...see I used to be smart....I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith. I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith from the tv --

THURSTON
Might of been before my time.

PATRON #1
I remember you. I remember. In the 60's right?

DONNIE
I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith.

THURSTON
...like you said...

PATRON #1
Smart Kid! Fuck, yeah, he-he. You got hit by lightning that one time, right?

DONNIE
So what?

THURSTON
But you're alright now, so what's the what?

DONNIE
What?

THURSTON
That's right.

DONNIE
I used to be smart but now I'm just stupid.

THURSTON
Brad, dear?

THURSTON
Who was it that said: "A man of genius has seldom been ruined but by himself."

DONNIE
(to himself)
-- Samuel Johnson.

BRAD
I don't know.

THURSTON
It was the lovely Samuel Johnson who also spoke of a fella "Who was not only dull but a cause of dullness in others."

DONNIE
"The" cause of dullness in others --

THURSTON
Picky, picky.

DONNIE
-- and lemme tell you this: Samuel Johnson never had his life shit on and taken from him and his money stolen -- who took his life and his money? His parents? His mommy and daddy? Make him live this life like this -- "A man of genius" gets shit on as a child and that scars and it hurts and have you ever been hit by lighting? It hurts and it doesn't happen to everyone...

PATRON #1
Your parents took your money you won on that game show?

DONNIE
Yes they did.
(turns quick to Thurston)
What does that mean, "spoke in the wheel?"

THURSTON
Things go round 'n round, don't they?

DONNIE
Yes they do, they do, but I'll make my dreams come true, you see? I will.

THURSTON
This sounds Sad as a Weeping Willow.

DONNIE
I used to be smart but now I'm just stupid.

THURSTON
Shall we drink to that?

 

-- "What are you doing?"
-- "What am I doing? I'm quietly judging you."