Old-school sports parenting

The problem is that sports continues to be overemphasized in the American society.

Sports is not the same as academics and family time. Not in my family, ever. Even if my two boys somehow blossom into unbelievable athletes, I will be more proud that they perform in academics than sports.

Sports is an outlet; not an end all be all.

What message is it that when you rearrange vacations for a sporting event? This year my boys have missed practices and games because of family events.

In the "old days", '70s, the star QB of the freshman football team got a 4ft trophy and front page spread in the local daily, the outstanding student (me) got a 6 inch trophy and filler inside. That said volumes about what my town emphasized. That was/is simply the wrong message. Yet, 35 years later, the majority of the US continues to send the same message.

 

"Everybody plays" is different than "everybody gets equal playing time".

My eldest played hockey at a pretty competitive level--AAA for a couple of years then settled in to AA. Not "draftable level" but just a little below it.

His coach made it quite clear: everybody played but in the last ten minutes of a close game or in tournaments he shortened the bench. Nothing wrong with that but the idea that any kid would sit out the whole game would have been unthinkable.

I don't care whether it's a house league game or the LLWS, every kid has a right to play--even if it's for a couple of innings.

This has nothing to do with "participation medals" or "not keeping score".

If you have a kid on your team that you don't intend to play at all, then you should be ashamed of yourself for even having the kid on the team.

 

He is 13 and I try to explain that the coach is going to pat the No. 9 hitter on the head for getting a hit more often than he would the cleanup hitter.

It just easy to figure to me, but he will come home and gripe that his name wasn't called again.

Funny how kids really hunger for that positive reinforcement.

 

Ashamed of yourself for having the kid on the team? Explain the option to that ...

And anyway, the coach may have had every intention of playing everyone he drafted/chose/was handed. But some may not have proven ready to play at that level.

When I was 10, I wasn't ready to face the good fastballs in our league, and if my coach had put me in against that, I stood a better chance of getting hurt than I did of succeeding.

 

Shot

I didn't mean "you". I meant the coaches.

Unless it's the NHL, MLB, NFL or NBA draft, if you select a kid for your team and the kid--for whatever reason---can't play at that level--then you, as a coach, have to bite the bullet and play him.

 

Whew. We'll have to agree to disagree on that one.

 

What kind of fastballs were the 10-year-olds in your day throwing anyway?

 

Afraid so.

 

Shot grew up with Roger.

 

Ah, remember, small town. This 10-year-old was in the same league with the kids throwing in the all-star tournament. Some serious 12-year-old heat.

 

Wow.

Here's a "reader" rant on the topic of coaches selecting their own kids for all-star teams:

You danced around these pet peeves but I feel you really need to nail them better:

-Any...repeat...any coach who uses their position to place THEIR kid on all star teams over more deserving, more talented kids!

-Those same coaches who love to brag they are "volunteers" which by definition means "they do - expecting nothing in return"...uh...when they place their undeserving kid on an all-star team over and above a more deserving child, they are "getting something in return" so X-NAY on the volunteer label!

-Pet peeve against: Every youth program that condones these blatant abuses of power by these so called volunteer coaches.

-Biggest pet peeve against ALL the loud mouthed parents behind the scenes who complain about this same issue yet when asked to step forward and do something...they become silent cowards... I.E. it is that public apathy that perpetuates the problem and is not part of the solution!

I would challenge any of your visitors to defend this one:

Show me a youth organization that promotes ethics and fair play that directly addresses these unfair coaching issues? Not NAYS and def not Lehigh Valley Coalition on Youth Sports Ethics either. Fact is, these all focus on making "parents" and "players" sign code of conduct pledges and the like but NONE make a coach sign anything saying THEY will not show favoritism or preferential treatment to their own child "above and beyond" all those other kids they represent and who ALL represent the betterment of the community league.

Pet peeve: Sports reporters like (NAME DELETED) who fail to investigate full fledged favoritism and blatant cheating I described here when he was presented with an opportunity to make a big story out of it. Where he COULD have made a real difference but was just as cowardly as the rest who KNOW it happens and do nothing about it. When HE had the opportunity to investigate the FACTS I had that would have absolutely shown the disgraceful level youth coaches are allowed to sink to....(NAME DELETED) did squat!

Not a pet peeve but a simple question:
Coach- without knowing you, I would question how often you saw this type of blatant favoritism where daddy/mommy coaches put their undeserving kid on all star teams? Where much more deserving kids were left off and left to cry themselves to sleep and were simply told..."life ain't fair"...by what were suppose to be mentors and role models (what a coach is suppose to be).

OK- your website...either ignore it like (NAME DELETED) or post it...up to you?


And at SportsJournalists.com, how many of you have been guilty of this?

Pet peeve: Sports reporters like (NAME DELETED) who fail to investigate full fledged favoritism and blatant cheating I described here when he was presented with an opportunity to make a big story out of it


'Fess up, folks. We know you're still kicking yourselves for missing that story.

 

I've taken that phone call.