1. Welcome to SportsJournalists.com, a friendly forum for discussing all things sports and journalism.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register for a free account to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Access to private conversations with other members.
    • Fewer ads.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Old basketball preview.

Discussion in 'Writers' Workshop' started by Huggs4Thuggs, Jul 20, 2007.

  1. Huggs4Thuggs

    Huggs4Thuggs New Member

    Go ahead, I just want to see how I can improve. Please don't hold back.

    Fargo keeps eye on prize

    MIDWEST CITY – For the Fargo Beacats this is what it’s all about.

    The Bearcats have had their share of championships this season. They were crowned champions of the 270 Conference, the Buffalo Invitational, and secured first place in their own tournament. They’ve been ranked among the top 10 teams in class B for the entire season, finished the season undefeated at home, and have only been defeated twice all year.

    Despite the sheer number of victories for the Bearcats this season, Fargo head coach Allen Tune has no qualms telling somebody that this weekend’s games are the ones that really count. He’s talked about this weekend with his team all season long. But now the talk is over and the action is set to begin.

    Tune and his young Bearcat team kick off state tournament play tonight at 7 p.m. at Midwest City High School against Gracemont in the first of what Tune and his team hope will be three games in Oklahoma city.

    “Gracemont is big and athletic,” said Tune of Thursday’s opponent. “We’re just going to pressure them and try to make them turn the ball over.”

    Fargo, outsized all season, will rely on Luke Moyer and Austin Stone to matchup underneath with the formidable Gracemont front line. Moyer and Stone have been outsized often this season, yet have found ways to stay effective.

    Tune compares Gracemont’s size to that of the Shattuck Indians who Fargo disposed of thrice this season - though the first game went to overtime. So it shouldn’t surprise anyone if Tune isn’t overwhelmed at the sight of Gracemont’s Steven Stands, who is listed at 6-5, a full four inches taller than anyone on the Fargo roster. The size doesn’t end with Stands however. Both Eric Gonzales and Josh Gaucher are listed at 6-3 and are also taller than any Bearcat player.

    “We’ve been outsized pretty much all year,” Tune said “(Glencoe’s Brennon) Dearinger is the only big guy we couldn’t slow down. We couldn’t get him in foul trouble.”

    Gracemont’s size in not something that is easily overlooked however, as it has been a driving force behind the Lions 21-3 record and number nine ranking.

    “These boys are all sophomores and juniors, and they’ve never been to the state tournament,” Tune said of his young team. “They’re excited and they’re ready.”

    Tune says his team’s offensive attack will not change this weekend and the Bearcats will continue to push the pace, and attempt to turn games into track meets.

    Fargo’s up-tempo game shouldn’t bother the Lions however, as they like to get up and down the court as well, but Tune thinks that his Bearcats pace might just be a little faster than what Gracemont is used to.

    “They’re a lot like us,” he said. “ They play fast, but I don’t know that they like to play as fast as we do.”
  2. jgmacg

    jgmacg Guest

    Huggs -

    Thanks for posting.

    Couple of nits to pick, but it's a sound piece.

    - Outsized (one word) means "big." Out-sized (two words, hyphenated) means "smaller than." The word recurs in the story a few times, too. I realize that you were taking it from the coach's quote, but it's confusing as applied here.

    - While "thrice" is absolutely correct, it's an awkward, plummy sounding word to the American ear.

    - "Match up" is two words in this context.

    - Your first sentence "For the Fargo Bea [r] cats this is what it’s all about." is sort of a headscratcher, insofar as "this" and "it's" are unspecfied. I know what you're trying to do, which is to bring a little drama to things, but better to be clear than suspenseful i.e., "For the Fargo Bearcats this weekend is what their entire season has been about." Better still, "The Fargo Bearcats have spent the last 180 days [or whatever] preparing for tomorrow night."

    Thanks again for posting with us.
  3. Huggs4Thuggs

    Huggs4Thuggs New Member

    Thank you

  4. I agree with jg here, but I also think you might've tried, during your interviewing, to get colorful material that would've let you make this point without having to SAY it in the rather plain way you have. "For the Fargo Bea [r] cats this is what it’s all about." So...did the star player stay up at nights thinking about it? Did the players have a "1, 2, 3, STATE CHAMPS!" cheer?
    hat, exactly, did the coach tell them when he talked about it "all season long"? How did they react to his talks? Maybe you could've got a lead like this:
    The Fargo Bearcats' star center got so bored with his coach's daily speeches about the state tournament that he stopped listening.

    "He just talked about it SO often," Jim Smith said. "After a while, it's like, 'Alright, Coach Tune, we get it. We're going to be alright.'"

    Smith and his teammates will get a chance to prove it this weekend, the most important two days of their successful season.
    Or maybe:

    When the Fargo Bearcats won their conference, they were happy. When they won the Buffalo Invitational, they were happier. But as his teammates shouted and danced in their locker room after the most successful moments of their very successful season, point guard Johnny Thompson sat in front of his locker, only a small smile on his face.

    "This is nice, but it's not State," Thompson said after the Invitational victory. "State is what it's all about."

    Now, State is here.
    Very very very obviously, I'm just making (not-that-great) stuff up. But I'm willing to bet one of your players has SOMETHING like this to say. Sooo...my point: if you can find a way to make your primary point in an interesting/unusual/revealing way - especially in a lede - rather than simply stating it, your stories will benefit.

    Otherwise, as jg said, I think you did a solid job. Good luck in the future!
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page