OK, which SJ member was this?

Appgrad05 · Sep 29, 2009

mustangj17 said:

Alright, here is the video as well as the story I sent to deadspin.

(I am not the one yelling "Kodak moment" in the background.)

At approximately 3 a.m. Sunday Sept. 27, my friends and I witnessed a true shit show as we were exiting Brothers Bar in Madison, Wisconsin. As we flagged down passing-by taxi's we felt and heard a loud thud. When we turned around there was a Wisconsin fan, dressed in a Ron Dayne Steve and Barry's jersey sprawled on the sidewalk. Of course, I immediately grabbed my digital camera and started recording. The drunk, smelly, derelict was face up, moaning and rolling around on the pavement. He looked like death and the girls we were with thought he was seriously hurt, homeless, or maybe mildly retarded. Feeling like a jerk, I turned off the video camera. Meanwhile, a group of nearby partiers attempted to get the man off the ground. It took six able-bodied college-aged men to lift the sweaty behemoth off the sidewalk and lean him against the wall. He was yelling incoherent sentences and looked like he had just had just incurred a closed head injury.

When the man finally got his feet under him, he stumbled right into oncoming traffic and nearly got hit by a shuttle bus. When the college students retrieved him from the street, the fan promptly tripped and fell into a tree and landed butt first on the sidewalk. Moments later, the police arrived and tried to find out how a man the size of Chris Farley could get THAT drunk. My friends and I suppose he may have taken Ruffalin (floories) or been shot with a horse tranquilizer. The drunk man however, did not appear to be the type that a woman would want to look at, let alone drug. But we are fairly certain he has (or had) a wife, because he was telling the cops to call her so he could get a ride home. His inability to recite her number correctly prevented his wife from picking up his drunk ass. The man babbled out a number that had 12 or 13 digits and I think one of them was a pound sign. I feel that will go down as one of the real tragedies of my life. I would have paid at least $50 to see his wife's reaction and to also see what she looked like. I assume her appearance is similar to that of Rosseanne Barr.

After giving up on finding the wife, the police got Sloppy McSlopperson back on his feet, but they needed help from another civilian to get him in the cop car. This was hilarious in itself because originally, the cops made everyone leave the area, insisting they had everything under control. They severely underestimated drunky's girth. I decided to resume video taping when the drunk man could not function well enough to turn his body sideways and enter the cop car. (The video is bad so I'm not going to post it.)

This incident was clearly the biggest tailgate fail of 2009. I'm glad we were there to witness it, but I regret not filming the entire ordeal.

It remains unclear who the guy was since he was alone and nobody had seen him prior to hearing his body slap the sidewalk.

The real mystery though, is how a man whose frame suggests he ate Brett Bielema can get so drunk. The man must have been drinking gasoline.
Click to expand...

You brought your camera to the bar?
Are you actually a woman?

mustangj17 · Sep 29, 2009

Appgrad05 said:

mustangj17 said:

Alright, here is the video as well as the story I sent to deadspin.

(I am not the one yelling "Kodak moment" in the background.)

At approximately 3 a.m. Sunday Sept. 27, my friends and I witnessed a true shit show as we were exiting Brothers Bar in Madison, Wisconsin. As we flagged down passing-by taxi's we felt and heard a loud thud. When we turned around there was a Wisconsin fan, dressed in a Ron Dayne Steve and Barry's jersey sprawled on the sidewalk. Of course, I immediately grabbed my digital camera and started recording. The drunk, smelly, derelict was face up, moaning and rolling around on the pavement. He looked like death and the girls we were with thought he was seriously hurt, homeless, or maybe mildly retarded. Feeling like a jerk, I turned off the video camera. Meanwhile, a group of nearby partiers attempted to get the man off the ground. It took six able-bodied college-aged men to lift the sweaty behemoth off the sidewalk and lean him against the wall. He was yelling incoherent sentences and looked like he had just had just incurred a closed head injury.

When the man finally got his feet under him, he stumbled right into oncoming traffic and nearly got hit by a shuttle bus. When the college students retrieved him from the street, the fan promptly tripped and fell into a tree and landed butt first on the sidewalk. Moments later, the police arrived and tried to find out how a man the size of Chris Farley could get THAT drunk. My friends and I suppose he may have taken Ruffalin (floories) or been shot with a horse tranquilizer. The drunk man however, did not appear to be the type that a woman would want to look at, let alone drug. But we are fairly certain he has (or had) a wife, because he was telling the cops to call her so he could get a ride home. His inability to recite her number correctly prevented his wife from picking up his drunk ass. The man babbled out a number that had 12 or 13 digits and I think one of them was a pound sign. I feel that will go down as one of the real tragedies of my life. I would have paid at least $50 to see his wife's reaction and to also see what she looked like. I assume her appearance is similar to that of Rosseanne Barr.

After giving up on finding the wife, the police got Sloppy McSlopperson back on his feet, but they needed help from another civilian to get him in the cop car. This was hilarious in itself because originally, the cops made everyone leave the area, insisting they had everything under control. They severely underestimated drunky's girth. I decided to resume video taping when the drunk man could not function well enough to turn his body sideways and enter the cop car. (The video is bad so I'm not going to post it.)

This incident was clearly the biggest tailgate fail of 2009. I'm glad we were there to witness it, but I regret not filming the entire ordeal.

It remains unclear who the guy was since he was alone and nobody had seen him prior to hearing his body slap the sidewalk.

The real mystery though, is how a man whose frame suggests he ate Brett Bielema can get so drunk. The man must have been drinking gasoline.
Click to expand...

You brought your camera to the bar?
Are you actually a woman?
Click to expand...

My camera is smaller than my cell phone. It was in my pocket all day, as I was in a new city in a state I had never visited. I'm glad I had it on me.

Log in or Sign up

OK, which SJ member was this?

Appgrad05 Active Member

mustangj17 Active Member

Share This Page

Log in or Sign up

OK, which SJ member was this?

Appgrad05 Active Member

mustangj17 Active Member

Share This Page

Useful Searches