OK which one of you *** tried killing me tonight?

So I'm driving over to our landlord's to pay the rent around 8:30 when my wife calls. "Get home right now, a wire fell in the front yard, it's sparking like crazy and we don't have power," she says.

I tell her I'll be home as soon as I can. Five minutes later, she calls again.

"Get the FUCK home RIGHT NOW, the fire department is here and I'm really worried," she says.

I said something about mother of fuck I can only drive so quickly and stepped on it. Then I got home and realized why she was so freaked out. There were six fire trucks lined up around our block, sirens flashing. The wire was on the front yard, sparking like crazy. Then six firemen walk briskly past us and into the house. Someone with the company tells us to move back to beyond the cul de sac...and as soon as we're out, he puts up the yellow FIRE DEPARTMENT DO NOT CROSS tape.

The wire keeps sparking, sending flames high into the air. My wife tells me that the wire actually fell on the side of the house and started a fire that our downstairs neighbor extinguished with the hose. Had we not been home, the whole damn thing likely would have gone up.

It's not a good feeling, at all, to see your street looking like something you see on TV and to begin envisioning what could have been. And I got to thinking about the randomness of it all...I walk on the side of the house all the time to go to the laundry room. And you always hear about poor dopes who walk on to a live wire and meet their maker.

Quite a sobering experience...yet in the end, God bless modern technology, caues I'm typing this less than three hours after I was standing outside wondering when we'd get power back. So I was feeling pretty good...

...until, on my way back into the house, I saw the can of Fresca. Arnold, Mikey and Perennially, I'm on to you.

 

it was me. Get your picks in on time, or else.

 

I didn't mean to scare your wife. I'm sorry.

 

I was at home watching the Bears and driving my neighbors crazy.

 

Definitely wasn't me. Fresca contains aspartame. I don't touch the stuff.

 

BYH, I think you've got a few months left, so you should've known you'd be ok tonight.

 

I'm still wrestling with my stupid PDA.

You can rule me out.

Seriously, glad you and your family are ok. What a scare.

 

Anyone have a bead on where Emily Valentine was?

 

What curse word is only three letters long?

 

Awesome.

Hey, my Tim Laudner jersey is missing. Hmmm.

 

cun

 

BYH