OK, stupid question time...

Gus Johnson gets me so excited for March Madness it's not even funny.

Ahhhh....

Verne Lundquist: "I hope Dwyane Wade likes cajun cooking!" ... (dramatic 5 second pause) ... Bill Raftery: "JAMBALAYA!"

 

I believe it was Sam Malone who said "there are no bad boys, only boys with bad haircuts".

 

Actually, that isn't as far fetched as it may sound. If there was a weather-related delay and play suspended, EVERY group could have it's tee time pushed back by a certain amount. So, the 8:36 group might tee off at, say, 10:15.

 

Thanks for comparing me to Mr. Hawking.

One more stupid question story before I retire for the night.

Couple years ago my in-laws were going on a cruise out of New Orleans. They live here in Louisville, but their Southwest flight was going through Pittsburgh.

After my father-in-law explained the trip, my mother-in-law looked at him, with a straight face, and asked:

"Pittsburgh is east. How do you get there by flying southwest?"

 

We had a co-worker who was notorious for asking dumb questions. The best was this exchange, as he's looking at the schedule and sees that he has to cover our minor league baseball team's game:

"What time is this at?"
"7"
"a.m. or p.m.?"

 

The correct answer: "FM."

 

CBS always has inspired partners for Uncle Verne. You've got the hyper Raftery for hoops, and the stoned Danielson for football. Verne as the straight man. Perfect.

 

Ed Rooney: What's the score?
Pizza Joint Owner: Nothin' nothin'.
Ed Rooney: Who's winning?
Pizza Joint Owner: The Bears.

 

Nice...

 

Please shoot me now.

 

15 or 20 years ago I'm in the press tent at the U.S. Open (golf) and it is raining like hell, not just a downpour, but tropical storm/typhoon stuff. Everyone in the tent fully expects this thing to be ripped to shreds any second, and one look at the sky would indicate this thing isn't easing up anytime soon. A photographer comes up to a media relations person next to me and asks him, "What time is play going to resume?" I'd hoped the answer was going to be, "We're going to restart play in 15 minutes and you should be out there snapping away to make sure you get a good picture when someone gets hit by lightning."

 

At the University I used to work for, had a woman in the publications office ask me what time our basketball team was playing, so she could assign a photographer.

I told her 8 p.m.

She asked if the game would be held rain or shine.