Oh ***T, I need some quick help

Man, pound some Goldschlager and shit her some jewelry.

 

Shouldn't that also require some accompanying foods high in iron and magnesium?

 

Had a coach speaking at a banquet thank his wife for "18 wonderful years of marriage." Moments later, everybody could here the wife yelling at him, "we've been married 23 years" to which the coach responded, "those other five years weren't that great."

Funny line at the time. Of course, they are divorced now.

As for a gift, think back to your early years together and find something that you either wanted really bad but couldn't have because of $$$$ or relive another experience from your early years. Try to bring back a happy memory.

 

Use the pick-up line, "What do you say we go and get a pizza and then have sex all night? Or, do you not like Italian food?"

 

Moddy enters the room:

Hey girl I got somethin' real important to give you
So just sit down and listen
Girl you know we've been together such a long long time (such a long time)
And now I'm ready to lay it on the line

 

There have been a lot of threads on here over the years on the topics of love and romance where a poster could end up sharing the thoughts and words that were written on that thread with his or her loved one.

This is not one of those cases.

 

He could deliver some pizza himself.

 

It was good knowing you, Moddy.

 

You could try. If you are really lucky, the worst she will do is laugh at you.

Personally, I would expect her to stick to her word. (Yes, I do find myself sleeping on the couch quite often. Why do you ask?)

 

Where do you want your body shipped?

Or should we scatter the ashes around Nats Park?

 

Wait til Mrs. Moddy hears he wants the ashes scattered around Safeco at the outing.

She'll wish she'd re-killed him.