Oh Boy. Smalltown Scandals

fixed

 

The next time you're asked to donate to the (charity here), be sure to use only crisp, one-dollar bills.

 

Maybe the Civitans should use strippers to help them raise money. Beats the crap out of selling fruitcakes and Vidalia onions.

I might bring up the stripper idea at the next meeting of our county 4-H advisory council, of which I'm president of this year. I'll recommend starting a Stripping/Pole Dancing Club for the county's female senior high school members so they wouldn't have to do mundane things like public speaking, showing cows, judging sheep and identifying seeds.

 

You've struck gold, Pete. Welcome to news.

Sure you're not covering Mayor Kwame on this?

Had a small-town stripper/sports scandal where one of the local HS softball teams was on a road trip 150 miles away in the Big City, hired a male stripper to come to their hotel. One girl's mother found out about it and started squaking. Players suspended. Coach resigns. "A community up in arms!" the news anchor screamed to open the news.

Stinking softball.

At least your story has actual ramifications. Have fun amid ALL of the work that goes into it.

 

Actually, Pete, your publisher should hire the women in question. Nobody can do more with less than peelers.

 

You know you've a homer when the local radio news station reads your lead AND the pull quote directly from the story on the a.m. newscast. And, it was the second story (behind only a missing child).

Follow-up column currently being written.

 

well, the porn industry just asked for bailout money and got turned down ...

 

Pete, the story is useless without photos. Seriously though, I read it and thought it was good to get the info out to the public for them to form their own opinion.

My philosophy, even if it's a so what story, is that most, if not all, information about government and non-profits needs to get out to the public.

As for the radio station reading your story, it happens to me all the time. And the local rags pick up my paper's stuff and rewrites it all the time.

 

Pete:
Here's hoping you work at The Trentonian, which gave us...
"Roasted Nuts" headline on story about fire at mental institution.
"Tempest in a D-cup" headline on story about opposition to a Hooter's restaurant opening
"Head had AIDs" follow-up headline to "Head Found on Golf Course" story.
And I never thought I'd write "here's hoping you work at The Trentonian."
It just seems fitting given the strippers, city hall and the charity being involved.

 

Don't be so quick to dismiss the sheep...

 

Don't forget "HE TOOK IT THE BUTT" a couple of years ago.