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Official Cubs Obit

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by 21, Aug 31, 2007.

  1. 21

    21 Well-Known Member

    Re: Official Cubs Suicide Watch Thread

    Zambrano. Someone needs to shoot him in the ass with a beebee gun.
     
  2. Barsuk

    Barsuk Active Member

    Re: Official Cubs Suicide Watch Thread


    Quade should've tripped his ass coming around third.

    And now he can't throw strikes.
     
  3. Re: Official Cubs Suicide Watch Thread

    Big Z has pitched like a Big Turd since signing the contract extension.
     
  4. Barsuk

    Barsuk Active Member

    Re: Official Cubs Suicide Watch Thread


    It started before the extension. He was good for three innings today, but after butchering the basepaths, he completely lost it.

    Of course, the Cardinals and Brewers both lost today, so we should've known the Cubs had zero chance of winning. They are the least opportunistic first-place team I have ever seen.
     
  5. JackyJackBN

    JackyJackBN Guest

    Re: Official Cubs Suicide Watch Thread

    Like Lou Piniella lovingly reassuring a young pitcher, I send these words of encouragement out to all you Cubs fans:

    Bite me, boys.

    (Girls, you get a pass. I don't want to get too ugly here.)
     
  6. Yawn

    Yawn New Member

    Re: Official Cubs Suicide Watch Thread

    [​IMG]

    I'm still haunting you.
     
  7. Bob Cook

    Bob Cook Active Member

    Re: Official Cubs Suicide Watch Thread

    I'd say something snarky, except Mark Buehrle has done much the same.
     
  8. Armchair_QB

    Armchair_QB Well-Known Member

    Re: Official Cubs Suicide Watch Thread

    Remain calm. All is well.
     
  9. Re: Official Cubs Suicide Watch Thread

    With Steve Trachsel going Tuesday, I don't see anything to worry about.
     
  10. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    Re: Official Cubs Suicide Watch Thread

    I don't want to fucking hear it Cubs fans.

    Your manager didn't put a September call-up pitcher in the game with a two-run lead and the outcome on the line, with fucking Hunter Pence at-bat. If GoodFellas had not given birth to the term "fucko", I'd have to invent it.

    In better news, I got to see the Cardinals get punked 11-0 by the Pirates in person today.

    I was decked out in my Prince Fielder T-shirt, representing the pennant race for the Brewers in hostile territory. Though there was initial skepticism about my choice of garb inside Baseball Heaven*, Cardinals fans and I broke bread over mutual dislike of the Cubs.

    * Is that supposed to be capitalized? I don't really know, so gee, I guess I'll just have to ask "God". And while I've got him on the line, I'm going to ask why Busch Stadium's 9th-rate hot dogs cost nearly $5 in "heaven", and why my wife and I could find no evidence they have no kids meal at any concession in "heaven", and why in general, concessions really suck in "heaven".

    I might go zen and ask why "heaven" is surrounded by, in no particular order: I-64, a parking garage, a vacant lot that used to be "heaven" (apparently, Baseball Village, which is what's supposed to be on what's left of the old Busch Stadium site is patterned after Hiroshima '45), the Bowling Hall of Fame (where God goes to get away from it all and where he talks to Webby) and a Westin (where God presumably sleeps).

    And for my boys at the P-D, I'm going to ask why the worst press box in MLB is in "heaven".


    In all seriousness, for my second trip to St. Louis in just over a month, Cardinals fans were very classy. My daughter, inexplicably a big Pirates fan, was decked out in Pirate black from head-to-toe. I can't count how many Cardinals fans had nice things to say to her.
     
  11. Piotr Rasputin

    Piotr Rasputin New Member

    Re: Official Cubs Suicide Watch Thread

    Getting to Baseball Heaven carries quite a price.

    Standing room only seats are $18, for goodness' sake.
     
  12. spnited

    spnited Active Member

    Re: Official Cubs Suicide Watch Thread


    If there are seats, why is it called standing room?
     
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