Official Cubs Obit

That just ain't so, friend. I couldn't give two shits about the Cubs winning or losing. Didn't give a shit in 1984 either, back in a time when all of this stuff, you know, Really Mattered.

I will say it'll be nice to watch a national broadcast without seeing countless shots of middle-aged fat white guys in Soriano jerseys with their head in their beer. No shitting, there were at least 15-20 during the late innings of Thursday night's games. All of a different fat white guy.

This Seahawks thing is perplexing. Did I take a wrong door? I was over that travesty a year ago. I might go on the occasional rant after a few drinks, but I only subject my poor girlfriend to that anymore. Not 4,500 people on a message board. And certainly not to where it commands its own thread.

 

Oh, it won't be me, Tomas.

Like you, I think it's bullshit to kick a man when he's down. But others seem to get off on it.

 

Tom, I'm done with it after we're all finished here.

But you know they're going to want to fight in the morning. And it will go on, and on, and on. If not here, then another thread.

 

You said you DIDN'T come on here to kick Cubs fans while they were down? I call you a fucking liar and a fucking moron!

You were nowhere to be found on this thread UNTIL the Cubs started losing and you seemed to thoroughly enjoy rubbing it in Cubs fans faces when the Cubs lost.

You're a hypocrite!

And please explain to everyone how the SheHags were screwed out of the Super Bowl win against the Steelers again? I'm sure it'd make for better comedy than you sticking it to people who might actually give a shit about a team and weep with them.

ASSHOLE! And Go Fuck yourself!

 

Ease off. Have some coffee. Smell the roses.

 

LJB, please kindly shut the fuck up.

McNulty, you sir are an embarrassment to your avatar.

Wake me up when pitchers and catchers report.

 

I'm very much considering making an off-color joke about West Virginia right now.

 

See, this is what happens when people forget it's football season.

 

I was at Wrigley last night, and I'll say this:

-- Arizona didn't have great numbers, but the mass of young talent it has assembled is astounding. Someday there is going to be an All-Star team made up of these guys, although with the D'backs' payroll, they'll all be playing for other teams by then.

-- Bob Melvin basically acknowledged how easy it can be to turn the Wrigley crowd against its own team, especially when your leadoff hitter plants the first pitch into the outfield seats. It's no shock how Rex Grossman is getting run out of town, if the crowd at Wrigley also shows up to Soldier Field. I understand booing players who aren't performing, but there was a rage at Wrigley that would put the infamous 700 level to shame.

-- Speaking of that rage, I'm not sure how much of it is the frustration of a championship-free century, and how much of it is the crowd's large portion of pampered, spoiled frat-boy types. I mean, sheesh, booing the umpire on EVERY call that doesn't go your way? The ratio of slightly unshaven dudes wearing backward caps with sunglasses resting on them to the general Wrigley populace is definitely higher than just about any crowd outside a college football game.

-- One funny moment: when that fan in the Bartman section caught the foul ball and the TBS feed cut to the Bartman incident, the Cubs cut off TBS on the monitors in Wrigley. I'm sure the way the crowd started groaning when the name "Bartman" flashed on screen had the Cubs figuring they didn't want even more negativity in the ballpark.

-- And on top of everything else, there was more pressure for the Cubs to win now because they were built to win now. As big as those free-agent contracts are, most of them double the players' annual salary over the course of the deals, meaning that the Cubs -- especially if a cheapo new owner comes in -- are hamstrung on making changes unless the farm system can develop more players.

-- One attempt to end the Cubs' curse was blowing up the Bartman ball and serving it in pasta sauce. I fear the way things are going, someone is going to blow up Bartman and serve HIM in pasta sauce. But Bartman is such a nice guy and good Cubs fan that he would be OK with it if the proceeds went to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.

 

They need to blow up Alex Fucking Gonzales and leave poor Steve Bartman alone. Anyone with half a brain knows it's not his fault.

The rage doesn't come from the frat-boy types. They aren't smart enough for that. The rage comes from what you suggested at first. People are sick and fucking tired of watching this shit over and over again and they know they're going to see more of the same next year.

With the way the Trib is dicking around on this sale it's just about guaranteed that the new ownership won't be approved until January at the earliest, which is pretty late in the game to be working on upgrades for next season. Plus, it means Jim Hendry's still going to be out there collecting as many one-dimensional gutless fucking assholes as possible and assembling a team that will be lucky to equal this year's win total.

We may finally see a division winner with a sub-.500 record next year. But it won't be the Cubs.

 

Serious queston, AQB.

If you can work up this much rage over a baseball team, how do you deal with the real adversities of real life?