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Offbeat prep feature

Discussion in 'Writers' Workshop' started by JME, May 11, 2006.

  1. Riddick

    Riddick Active Member

    that's a damn good read, JME
  2. Sorry I'm so late on this, but good stuff Jeff (since we kind of know each other). I found myself kind of singing the Peanut Butter song to myself, so the lede did it's job - it drew me in. Again, good stuff man...but it's not like I ever expected anything less from you.
  3. JME

    JME Member

    Never too late for a compliment ;D

    Thanks man, the feeling is most definitely mututal.
  4. hackhack

    hackhack New Member

    I liked , no loved the topic. Well reported.


    At first I didn't get the story because of the hat.

    Then I reread it, and I didn't get the hat at all.

    So a guy has a curly head with a hat askew .... and because he chatters a lot .... it's amazing the hat doesn't fall off?

    That is a lot of visualization about a piece of clothing to get into a story about what comes out of someone's mouth.

    Did you consider any other intro?
  5. JME

    JME Member

    Hmm, let's see.

    Honestly, the hat was not directly related to the chatter; It was just a way to lead into the story, by painting a picture of this funny kid who doesn't play much but leads the chatter orchestra. I agree, it is a lot of visualization, but I generally don't make it a rule for my lede to point directly to the subject -- especially in a kind of frivolous feature story. If it's more of a serious story, I'll be more rigid.

    It's been a while, so I really can't recall what other ledes I considered.
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