Obama urges black men to be responsible

Yes, it does -- it tells me that the mother hasn't pursued every avenue available because she'd rather have her new husband adopt the child, which is fine.

But it isn't a problem with the law because I am reading the Iowa laws right now to find out, but I'd be willing to bet, that she could go after the guy for a good portion of the back money she's lost out on for the last six years if she really wanted to.

And to be clear -- I am not criticizing the mother because it sounds like she found a good guy to take responsibility for her child so the time and energy needed probably isn't worth it to go after the other dirt bag

 

My point Zag, is there ARE flawed laws out there. At some point, eventually Texas laws probably took over from Iowa laws, after they lived in Texas for a specific amount of time. But trust me, in the beginning, Iowa laws won.

She chose to give up the fight at a certain point, since his money really was no longer necessary or wanted.

Now I ask you, Zag, to address the law that won't allow a true dad to adopt this child because of a deadbeat who sends in $5 a month and refuses to give up his rights. Can you seriously tell me there is nothing flawed about that?

And yes, the father is STILL going to school. He has chosen to do nothing at all for six years except for be an ass and a thorn in the side of a family that doesn't deserve it. And we are talking about a tiny community college in a tiny town in Iowa that I know for a fact doesn't cost $30K per year.

 

Honestly, as a mother that tried for years to get child support, the fight gets old very quickly. There are some good laws out there, but the reality is that it is too freaking hard for a mother to get the money. It's a fight that wears a person out, mentally and physically. It is not so simple as to just report a deadbeat dad's name and wait for the money to roll in. It's a FIGHT. It shouldn't be that hard on the mothers, or single fathers for that matter. I know plenty of mothers that have simply given up the fight and moved on. Doing so in my situation allowed me to spend my time being a mother to my child.

This particular mother did stop pursuing avenues after about two years. At a certain point, the fight was no longer is worth it.

The point being, maybe the laws (or enforcement of laws) shouldn't be such difficult avenues for parents to pursue.

 

I find your attempts to engage zag in a rational argument commendable. You're a better person than I is.

 

Let me add one more thing that applies to the original thread topic.

As a mother, I could not agree more with the concept that fathers should be more involved in their child's lives. Not getting child support for 18 years pissed me off, but seeing a father ignore a child hurt me to my core. A father that sends child support regularly but doesn't have a role in a child's life is a just as much a deadbeat in my book.

The fact that there is a man out there that doesn't give a shit about her is what my daughter remembers when she goes to sleep at night, not the fact that she had less clothes than the other students because of a shortage of money.

Having said that, I have no idea what to do about the situation. It's not a tangible issue that can be enforced.