"No one tuned in to 90210 thinking, 'Hey, maybe I will get to see (oral sex).'"

Re: "No one tuned in to 90210 thinking, 'Hey, maybe I will get to see (oral sex)

 

Actually, BYH, I was so upset about this, I went home and twirled my father's gun to impress you -- mostly because we had grown distant as you made inroads with the cool blowjob crowd -- but it did not end well.

 

Let me quote my Spanish instructor from college, who made this legendary rant in English:

"C'mon. Middle school kids are having sex. Wake up!"

 

It's OK. He'll be passionate about you at school tomorrow, then promptly forget about you for the next couple years until graduation. It's the way things really happen.

 

It's right next to Russia, right?

 

I like it in ya, kid.

 

Mikey: Look, BYH, we're putting out this issue with a tribute to Double Down.
BYH: Why? So people can glance at it and then throw it in the garbage?
Mikey: No, so people can get some idea about who he was.
BYH: Look, he was a jerk, okay? He was a jerk who blew himself away, that's who he was. You don't know. You left early. You missed out on the fun part when he picked up a loaded gun and twirled it around like he was Wyatt Earp. You weren't there to see him goof up and bleed all over his mom's Persian rug.
Mikey: BYH, the microphone is on.
BYH: I don't care. No-one gave a rat's ass about Double Down until he died. And I was the worst one of all! He was my best friend and I dropped him! Because he wasn't cool like you or IJAG or Pallister.
Mikey: BYH...
BYH: So they're looking at me. So what? They've been looking at me for days, Mikey! "Oh, poor BYH, is he going to be okay? I hope he hasn't cracked up yet." I can't even walk through the halls without someone in my face trying to cheer me up like they're my new best friend! Well what about my old best friend? It doesn't matter what you write about him in that paper, Mikey. It doesn't matter what you say about someone once they're gone. What matters is how you treat them when they're still here.
(pause)
BYH: I guess you can quote me on that.

 

Excellent work, Silver.

Of course, you just ruined my shot at an award-winning story, you jerk.

 

Re: "No one tuned in to 90210 thinking, 'Hey, maybe I will get to see (oral sex)

Just like a straight man. Love 'em and Lear 'em.

 

Re: "No one tuned in to 90210 thinking, 'Hey, maybe I will get to see (oral sex)

RIP, Scott Gunkid.

You died a virgin.