No longer full of epic fail

So about a month ago I got a speeding ticket. I didn't have my insurance card with me and car tags, well let's just say they weren't any good anymore.
I thought I had renewed them online, but it didn't take.
So today was the court date, it was originally last week but I had asked for a continuance and if you have two or more violations on the ticket, it is a mandatory court appearance.
I had three and I figured I was completely hosed.
So at court today, I sit and wait wondering how many hundreds this shit was going to cost me.
My name gets called and what follows is an approximate transcript:
Clerk: JayFarrar
I proceed to the podium:
Judge: Mr Farrar I see you have a speeding ticket, no proof of liability insurance and expired car tags. How do you plead?
Me: Your honor, guilty on the speeding ticket, I have my proof of insurance with me and I thought I had renewed my tags online and I'm trying to get that resolved.
Judge: Okay. Could you hand the insurance proof to the clerk.
Me: Yes, your honor.
Judge: Did you have insurance at the time you were stopped?
Me: Yes, your honor.
Clerk hands judge the insurance paperwork and something falls of her desk. I pick it up for her and she says thanks.
Judge looks at the paperwork.
Judge: Nationwide is on your side.
Me: Yes sir, since 1986.
Judge: I see it was in effect in January.
Judge: When was your last speeding ticket?
Me: Your honor, it was either in 1993 or 1994.
Judge looks to another court clerk, this one has one of those computers the cops use to check driving histories. She nods in agreement with me on the lack of tickets.
Judge: This all looks in order. The no insurance is dismissed and the speeding ticket and registration violations are also dismissed if you maintain a clean driving record for the next six months. You're free to go.
Me: Thank you, your honor.
As instructed earlier I sit behind the podium.
Prosecutor: Free to go means you're free to go.
Me: I don't get any paperwork?
Prosecutor: The case was dismissed. You don't get any paperwork and you don't have to pay anything. Free to go, is free to go.
Me (Voice in head): Holy Shit. This is fucking awesome!
Me: Thank you

Le Fin

 

I hate you.

(congrats)

 

That's awesome dude. Send the judge's wife some flowers. She obviously made him very happy last night.

 

That's even better than the story about my Ome Kees (Uncle Kase, in English). He had to go to court for something and when the judge said "Case dismissed" he thanked the judge and complimented him on pronouncing his name correctly.

 

Pity the fool who gets stuck behind Jay for the next six months.

 

The judge actually said this?

 

Yep and when I said since 1986, he softly chuckled.
It was municipal traffic court. Dude has been known to work on his crossword puzzles during breaks.
Think a slightly older version of Harry Anderson from Night Court but without the magic tricks.
And I talked to a lawyer friend, he said catching a break like that isn't all that unusual. Especially when you are white, have insurance and no history of traffic violations.
Now the dude, a couple people ahead of me. He got the hammer dropped on him. Asked for probation despite having a recent DWI arrest.
It is also entirely possible he recognized my name from the paper. Plus, my place of employment was listed on the ticket.

 

Now I've got that damn insurance jingle stuck in my head.

 

Tell us you wore a tie and maybe a suit, too.

 

Got a ticket a few months ago in a small (well-known speed trap) town on I-35 in Central Texas. Sent in the paperwork to plead guilty but held off paying the fine until the very last minute. A former student of mine stopped by my office a few days after the fine was due. I remembered she was from the same small town, and told her about the ticket. She asked if I wanted her to talk to the mayor, a good friend. Ummmm, yes? She talked to him, he talked to judge, ticket was dismissed.

That's a good, good feeling.