Nicknames submitted in youth sports copy

Sometimes I swear these people are putting the nicknames in the story just to test me and see if I'll really delete them.

 

Part that drives me nuts is when people say, "Well, everyone knows them by that nickname."

Me: "Who's everyone?"

Reader: "Their Auntie Em and Uncle Bumfuck."

 

He was pinned at 35 seconds of the second period by Mr. Deltoid.

 

I once got a complaint from a parent because I ran his son's name as T.J. instead of TJ (no periods). When I asked him if it was TJ on the kid's birth certificate and the answer was "no," that sealed the deal.

Parents. Ugh.

 

that's a hoot.

 

Back in the day at my first gig, we got Little League results and we were always cutting nicknames out. Dad the coach says everybody knows him by his nickname. I tell him that when his kid makes the majors, he can be called Chipper in my newspaper. For now, Larry Jones had two hits.
I wonder what ever happened to that kid?

 

Print is different than speech. People don't tend to think of that when making up nicknames, whether for teams or individuals. "Yo, Big Dick, what's up, dog?" just doens't have the same feel on the printed page.

Years ago,was doing results on an intramural league which included a team named the -- dare I say it here -- "horny bitches". After a long conversation, we decided to refer to them as H.B.'s.

The worst was taking agate dictation on a 3-on-3 summer basketball tournament. Got nearly every darn name spelled wrong. Obviously, the person calling in scores was pretty clueless. Some parent raised hell over it. I responded "I can only report the information I was given". From that day forward, no more phone dictation on that bullshit. If you want it in the paper, fax it or email it to me.

 

Years ago, I had rec league results submitted with a team called the "Philly Fuckers."

Seriously.

 

don't tell me, you referred to them as the philly phuckers, right?

 

Well, I definitely thought about it.