NFL Week 1: Frankenstein's, er, Peyton's Return

Ryan Tannehill approves this statement.

 

Clubhouse leader for post of the thread ...

 

That's pretty unusual that they're getting those games out of the way early. It's almost like a college nonconference schedule.

But divisions are scheduled to play divisions in the opposite conference on a rotating basis, so every NFC team will play every AFC team over four years and vice versa. Divisions also play other divisions within their conference on a three-year rotating basis. You can predict 14 out of 16 opponents for a given team into perpetuity as long as the NFL keeps the current system, and the two additional strength-of-schedule games also rotate on a schedule. (Expansion, or an 18-game schedule would change this, of course.)

 

I hope when it comes time for Parcells to be enshrined that someone in South Florida reminds people what a disaster he left there before he lost interest and shuffled off.

 

Ugh. Picture of that shitstain Fireman Ed on ESPN.com's front page this morning. God, I hate that guy. Isn't it possible that he gets smashed in the face with an errant Tebow pass this year? Without it being an accident? That wouldn't suck.

 

As a Redskins fan, I thought you would have more of a problem with License Plate Guy.

 

Ha! Although that guy does indeed suck, he comes nowhere near the level of that clown Fireman Ed.

Also, I was cringing in anticipation of this. But it's funny as hell. And it's all true. Except I don't know ANY Skins fans who have ever defended Snyder. Not once.

http://deadspin.com/5939537/why-your-team-sucks-2012-washington-redskins#13464263532823&{"type":"iframeUpdated","height":2405}

 

Happily, I've never met Fireman Ed, or had to see his antics in person. I've met License Plate Guy. He's not a bad guy at all for a Giants fan. If I remember correctly, he is the director of athletics at a local high school.

 

Any fan who gets as worked up as Dipshit Ed does deserves to be trapped in a closet with rabid animals.

 

My buddy Roger just sent me a letter:

To NFL Fans:


The 2012 NFL regular season is about to begin, and it promises to be another exciting, competitive, and unpredictable year of football which NFL fans have come to expect every season.

Part of our responsibility in helping teams and players prepare for each NFL season is to make sure they understand and respect league policies and rules. As always, we hold everyone, including ourselves, strictly accountable for protecting the integrity of the game, starting with the health and safety of our players. This year is no exception - bringing with it a clear, consistent, and renewed emphasis on enforcing our longstanding “bounty” prohibition.

Let me be clear: there is no place for bounties in football. No exceptions. No excuses. Bounties are an affront to everything that competitive sports should represent. Everyone in the NFL is responsible for adhering to these rules and we are all accountable for protecting the safety of our players - present and future.

The bounty prohibition forbids offering or accepting any reward - cash or otherwise - for on-field misconduct, plays that incentivize or result in injury to opposing players, or for performance against an opposing player, group of players, or team. The bounty prohibition not only preserves the competitive integrity of our game, but also protects player safety by removing incentives that could lead to dangerous play or unnecessary and/or intentional injury. As a league, we will ensure that the prohibition against bounties is clearly understood and consistently enforced. Period.

We will aggressively protect the health, safety and long-term livelihood of our players, both on the field and off. We can preserve the fierce competition that makes football great, while simultaneously committing to the relentless pursuit of safer play. Our players do not make excuses on the field; we will not make them off the field.

It is our job to protect, preserve, and promote the game of football that we all love. We want an exciting game featuring the world’s most talented football players enjoying long and successful careers. The bounty prohibition plays an instrumental role in achieving that. And we are committed to holding every team, player and owner accountable.

We appreciate your interest and hope you enjoy the 2012 NFL season.
Roger Goodell

 

My car stereo hasn't worked in a year, and my shuffle crapped put on me a couple weeks ago. So while my 30-minute commute to work sucks, Magary just reminded me that there's at least one thing worse than drive-time silence:

"LaVar Arrington needs eight assistants and a pound of twine to string together one basic sentence."

Listening to that guy was like a drive-thru lobotomy.

 

Oh, it's horrid. And when he does the live spots for DARKAR CHRYSTLER JEEP DODGE OF MARLOW HEIGHTS!!!!!!....enraging.

But I listen more than someone who complains about it as much as I do should. So maybe I'm the asshole here.