Next Comedy Central Roast: Rob Lowe ... and Ann Coulter

Jewell surprised me. She handled herself well. I hope she does more stuff like this.

Jimmy Carr is best known as the host of the "Big Fat Quiz" on Channel Four and some kind of tax evasion scandal.

 

My all-time favorite Roast lines:

3. Anthony Jeselnik: "Mike Tyson ... what can you say about him that hasn't already been the title of a Richard Pryor album?"

2. Nick DiPaolo: "Watching Warren Sapp on 'Dancing With the Stars' was like watching a leather couch during an earthquake."

1. Jeff Ross: "Sandra Bernhard ... I wouldn't fuck her with Bea Arthur's dick." (bonus points because Bea Arthur was in the audience)

 

Gilbert, when you go to the restroom later you will see a sign that says "Gentlemen." Pay no heed, go right in. There's no room that says "Scoundrel" on it.

 

... and the world's most annoying laugh. Like "I wanna rip the ears off my head" rather than hear it one more time.

 

It borders on diabolical. I still like him. This clip is NSFW for the more delicate among us.

 

Maria Menounos is pretty bad:

 

There were about 10 people in the audience that got that joke.

 

You look like that, you can laugh however you want.

 

Norm!

 

Favorite roast line of all time, from when it was still affiliated with the Friar's Club and Jeff Ross wasn't the cartoon character he is now:

Jeff Ross to Drew Carey: "You look like Barney Rubble and Buddy Holly had a baby and then peed on it."

 

I dunno. Kind of hard to beat him telling Courtney Love that Cobain looks better than her.

 

Shit, yeah that was a great one. He has had a lot of killers in the past, but I haven't really liked much of the stuff he has done lately.

During the Jerry Stiller roast, said to Ben Stiller:

"If I had a father like Jerry, I'd be gay, too."