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New Words of Wisdom

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by alleyallen, Nov 30, 2007.

  1. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    One unintended advantage of being a single father is that I've suddenly started getting a lot more offers to go out on dates. As such, on the weekend nights when Little Man goes to one of the grandparents, I avail myself of such opportunities.

    A co-worker was asking me why I was dating around so much and, on a spur of the moment, lifted a bag of Jelly Bellies off my desk and said, "Life is like a bag of Jelly Bellies. I want to taste all the flavors."

    I have just found new words of wisdom.

    Any other nuggets like "Don't walk naked and backwards through a cornfield?"
  2. bigpern23

    bigpern23 Well-Known Member

    Try not to suck any dicks in the parking lot.
  3. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    Or airport bathroom stalls.
  4. BigSleeper

    BigSleeper Active Member

    Fat people who live in glass houses shouldn't walk around naked.
  5. Clever username

    Clever username Active Member

    Why is this a new thread? We just had one of these yesterday. Or Thursday now, I guess.
  6. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    This post:
    Becomes this when translated by dooleyfish:

  7. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    Or to quote John Winger (Bill Murray) in Stripes..."Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it's usually something special."
  8. rallen13

    rallen13 Member

    Do you have any in low-cut, bikini style, preferably in mesh that your old man could borrow?
  9. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    Man, you're gonna put your son in therapy
  10. Football_Bat

    Football_Bat Well-Known Member

    Never mind Alley, I'm worried more about Little Man
  11. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    Not to worry...it's just lines from Stripes.
  12. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    No, I meant your dad discussing his underwear with you.
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