New Custer bio on PBS

Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn't.

 

Custer was a dipshit that got his command wiped out through his own actions. He was more worried about making headlines than sound decisions. Well, I guess he did accomplish that.

 

aw fudge, was just about to post that quote. Have to use this:

The crickets and the rust-beetles scuttled among the nettles of the sage thicket. "Vámonos, amigos," he whispered, and threw the busted leather flintcraw over the loose weave of the saddlecock. And they rode on in the friscalating dusklight.

 

Obligatory...

A wealthy woman moves to America from Europe. She buys a large house and plans on having a large housewarming party with many distinguished guests. For the event she hires a famous artist to paint a picture depicting a moment in American history. She decides on General Custer’s last stand against the Indians and what the American general was thinking at the moment of his last battle.

The artist works feverishly on the painting and on the night of her party, his art is in the center of all the guests with a cloth covering it. He draws everyone's attention to the painting and proudly pulls the cloth off the painting, revealing his masterpiece.

The guests gasp and scream. There are Indians having sex in every possible position, and even more bizarre is a large fish in the center of all the Indians with a halo over its head.

The woman screams to the artist, "What is this? This is not what I asked for!" He replies, "Yes, it is. You asked me to depict what Custer was thinking during his last moments on earth. That was, 'Holy Mackerel, look at all those f*cking Indians!'"

 

Awesome.

 

The Punch Line
by The Minutemen
"I believe when they found the body of General George A. Custer quilled like a
porcupine with Indian arrows, he didn't die with any honor, any dignity, nor any
valor.
I wouldn't doubt when they found George A. Custer an American General Patriot
Indian Fighter, he died with a shit in his pants "

 

In Monroe, Mich., where Custer spent part of his life, this guy is holier than thou. Really. They have had all sorts of Custer history programs, a bunch of things are named for him and there's even a statue of him on a horse at a downtown intersection.

Dear Monroe - Custer was a complete f-up - one of the worst American military commanders there ever was. Why are you glorifying him?

Something tells me the second "Night at the Museum" movie didn't go over very well in Monroe.

 

When I started at Lee five years ago, it was in their orientation materials that a correspondent at a Lee paper died at Little Big Horn.

 

Custer hit the big time by getting killed. If he had lived, he would have been a footnote. I guess he was kind of a rock star leading up to his death, but I'm sure he would have faded into the pages of history if not for Little Big Horn.

 

The ending doesn't change. Motto of the story: Don't go in someone else's backyard to pick a fight. You will get that ass tapped.

 

Betcha he wished he was on furlough at the time.

 

Bill Cosby routine when he did stand-up, on if wars began like football games, with a coin toss (condensed):

"Captain Custer, this is Captain Sitting Bull. Captain Sitting Bull this is Captain Custer.

Captain Sitting Bull wins the toss. (heh heh). Captain Custer, Captain Sitting Bull says that you and your men must wait at the bottom of that hill while him and all the Indians in the world ride right down on top of you."