New cell hope or just make fun of my epic phone of fail

Over the summer, I was given a free phone from T-Mobile as a way of thanking me for being such a wonderful customer and because the warranty on my old phone had expired and I couldn't re-up.

The fine folks at T-Mobile gave me a choice of two phones and I selected:

http://www.samsung.com/us/consumer/detail/gallery.do?group=mobilephones&type=mobilephones&subtype=t_mobile&model_cd=SGH-T219SRBTMB

I have come to learn that I picked what is the tin-can-on-a-string cell. I can neither make or receive calls. If I try to text someone, I can only do it in ALL CAPS because it won't allow me to write a sentence in anything but ALL CAPS or gibberish.

Basically, it's the bane of my existence. It has replaced Roger Clemens and his needle-marked ass as the thing I despise most.

As soon as the holidays end, I'm planning on upgrading to a rotary-dialing cell--keeping my fingers crossed for that baby--and I was hoping that the collective SJ brain trust could suggest cells for yours truly.

Or you can just make fun of my phone.

 

I'd offer you my old phone, but not only was it Alltel, but The Smithsonian had dibs on it, too.

 

You can't go wrong with an LG enV, HB.

 

What a piece of junk. {/lukeskywalker}

 

Stan says your phone sucks his non-existent, furry balls.

 

Adam Graves (two Cups) and Eric Lindros (baby food and adult diapers) may not have much in common, but they both agree that my phone is not good.

 

Zach Morris has one you can borrow.

 

Let's just hope Derrick Morris didn't take it from Zack, along with barring him from the ski trip, because of poor grades.

 

After I upgrade to a real phone, I'm seriously considering getting my lefty stick, a goal and using Samsung Shit as a puck.

It's so bad. When I visited Moms-and-Dadsbeat for Thanksgiving, I learned that my phone needed a satellite dish so I could get a bar.

 

Forget the goal. Try a shot off the boards ... gets it done quicker and easier. Plus the sound of the "thud" would be worth it.

 

Are you sure it was the real Derrick Morris or just an actor pretending to be him to get Zack out of trouble with Mr. Belding?