New Britain (CT) copy editors

A group of small dailies in central Connecticut is looking for news and sports copy editors with strong English skills, good graphic sense, a love of precision and knack for organization, rock-solid common sense, sensitivity toward the communities they serve, an interest in learning and immediately applying that knowledge and an ability to handle high-pressure situations with grace and creativity. (People interested in the sports copy editing job should also have extensive knowledge and interest in sports, including at the community level.) Applicants should be willing to work some nights and weekends for starting-level pay — but they will get a lot of experience and responsibility, fast.

The ideal candidate knows Associated Press style, has worked with Adobe InDesign and Adobe Photoshop and has a journalism degree and/or experience in journalism as writer and editor. Fast learners without those qualifications are also welcome to apply, but they’d better be readers of good newspapers and familiar with general concepts of news writing and design. Independent, conscientious and eager candidates are invited to send a resume, cover letter and any applicable clips or samples to mlevy@newbritainherald.com, mail them to the attention of Marc Levy at 1 Herald Square, New Britain CT 06050 or fax them to (860) 223-8171. We are looking to hire fast, so candidates already in or near central Connecticut are especially invited.

 

Run.
Away.
FAST.

 

Yeah ... that will attract the applicants. :

 

Jesus, it's just too easy.

I'm going out for a while. I'll hammer this one when I get back.

 

I believe this is a JRC shop.

 

I can't imagine why you came to that conclusion.

 

A group of small dailies. Yup, and growing smaller by the day.

 

Would one make enough to buy the company at its currently-atrophied stock price?

And would one wish to buy the company if one could?

 

A group of small dailies (and getting smaller by the day, thanks deskslave!) in central Connecticut is looking for news and sports copy editors with strong English skills (not really necessary), good graphic sense (have you seen our papers?), a love of precision (and a contempt for a decent product) and knack for organization (you can be as OCD as you want, you'll never get ahead of the game here), rock-solid common sense (if you have this, you already know NOT TO FUCKING APPLY), sensitivity toward the communities they serve (who's kidding who, you won't be here long enough to even meet your neighbor), an interest in learning (that whatever you've heard about the JRC, it's not nearly as bad as the reality) and immediately applying (for new jobs that are not in journalism) that knowledge and an ability to handle high-pressure situations (re: thankless situations) with grace (lots of profanity) and creativity (cocksucking gutless beancounting motherfuckers). (People interested in the sports copy editing job should ((already know that the first sentence of this ad was too fucking long)) also have extensive knowledge and interest in sports ((gee you fucking think?)), including at the community level ((LITTLE LEAGUE!!!)).) Applicants should be willing to work some (all) nights and weekends for starting-level pay (i.e. minimum wage) but they will get a lot of experience and responsibility, fast (this is all meant to conceal the fact you won't even be able to afford Ramen Noodles).

The ideal candidate (would run like fucking hell) knows Associated Press style (not necessary), has worked with Adobe InDesign and Adobe Photoshop (or has at least heard of them, so if you read this, that counts!) and has a journalism degree (from Tunxis Community College) and/or experience in journalism as writer and editor. Fast learners (people willing to put up with all sorts of shit to get into the biz) without those qualifications are also welcome to apply (this just in: they're the only ones who will), but they'd better be readers of good newspapers (so they know what not to expect) and familiar with general concepts of news writing and design (by familiar we mean we don't really give a shit). Independent, conscientious and eager candidates are (run out of the company in no time flat, all hail corporate leadership!) invited to send a resume, cover letter and any applicable clips or samples to mlevy@newbritainherald.com (hurry, we're still stealing the wireless), mail them to the attention of Marc Levy at 1 Herald Square, New Britain CT 06050 or fax them to (860) 223-8171 (don't bother, Jelenic cut the lines and cancelled our yearly supply of paper...one fucking pack, can you believe it?). We are looking to hire fast (and by fast, we mean we are looking to freeze the position), so candidates already in or near central Connecticut are (already suffering enough) especially invited (to kiss our fucking ass).

 

You have a gift, Beej.

 

It came at a great cost, Doc.

 

"From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee."