Never a cop around, until a half-hour, 25-car police chase ends up in your yard

He told me if I take perfect care of myself for the rest of my life I was going to get very sick and die.

 

My car is so bad, every Sunday I take my family out for a push.

 

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

 

My uncle's dying wish — he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.