Need advice: How do you deal with wife's affair, divorce?

Man, I am so sorry. Well, to hell with her, first of all.

Secondly, you have every reason to be depressed - you've had the damn rug pulled out. But it's situational depression. To me, you're handling this like a pro - seeing a counselor, going to church, talking about it here, seeing a lawyer. You seem very 'together' given what's happened. Just goes to show - you're a good guy, and she's making a big mistake. Do you know how many friends I have who'd be thrilled to have someone half as together as you?

You're 26, fella! Everything is ahead of you!

And by the way, TO HELL WITH HER.

 

Hey, TSP gets first shot at one of your friends!

 

And you who are being not normally who you are: try taking up something that will get you out with other people, with that something not being bar hopping. Withdrawing from life is the worst thing you can do.

 

Batting cages!

And bring LOTS of quarters!

 

So very true.

 

I wholeheartedly agree, and this is true for just about any breakup situation. The first thing you've got to do is kind of regain your identity -- be yourself again, and most important, be happy with yourself. Start doing fun things for yourself, even by yourself, and take care of yourself, first and foremost.

Do something that makes you happy, whether it's going to a ballgame or hiking or taking a weekend trip somewhere or whatever. There's going a lot of emotions and bad memories to sort through, and if you're by yourself it's going to be difficult, but the more "good times" you give yourself, the better you'll feel and the easier you'll make it on yourself.

And great post earlier, YGBFKM.

 

I have a friend who went through this a few years back, and that person described it as a death in the family without the loss of life. Just devastating in every way imaginable. Now, though, my friend is very happily remarried and in a much better place than would have been possible, even if the first spouse had not cheated. My point is -- and I know this is tough to see from where you sit now -- this is a truly lousy experience, but it does not have to ruin your life. Take care of your business according to your lawyer's advice, and then by all means, move, and look at this as the biggest mulligan you'll ever get. Just don't do so without a new job to go to. There isn't any part of this that will be made better by being destitute.

 

I wish I knew what to say, Not.

I'm sorry.

 

I think mourning is an excellent word here. You will be mourning the life you thought you would have, and sometimes it will hit you in unexpected ways. It's OK if that happens. Just acknowledge it and keep going.

 

You owe it to the other woman, the wife of the tennis coach, to let someone know what is going on.

Anyway, I'm amazed by the amounts of sports journalists on here that have been cheated on.

 

21 is right. Being vindictive about the house would make many of us feel better for an afternoon (although Not doesn't sound as if it would him). A judge has the power to make you feel better or worse for a much longer time. Don't start your court proceedings on the wrong side of the judge.

 

I'm not. You're gone all the time and don't have time to spend with your loved ones.