Need a journalism job? Be a marijuana critic

Sidebar on whether Ranch or Chedder doritos are best.

 

"No stems, no seeds that you don't need, Acapulco Gold is ... bad-ass weed."

 

To quote one of my favorite films:

"I don't care what it's called, I just want a bag of fuckin' weed."

 

Is there a tryout for the gig? Definitely one of the best probationary jobs you'll ever have.

 

Exactly! Is there any way that the guy files by deadline?

 

No one would ever make (Grateful?) Deadlines.

 

"This will steal your woman, then will rob your head. I give it four stars."

 

A lot of people have applied, but...




Those guys are faaaaaaags!

 

"I hated this weed. Hated hated hated hated hated this weed. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid non-buzz producing moment of it. Hated the dealer I got it from that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the buyer in its belief that anyone would be able to get high from it."

 

The ability to get high for free and to remain a full time journalist makes this the best opening in the country.

 

If you pass a drug screening, are you automatically disqualified from getting the job?

 

If only it were a full-time job, rather than a freelance gig.