My television is haunted

I have an older TV in my bedroom that randomly turns itself on and off.

It turned itself on the other night and then turned the volume way up. I sat there and watched the digital horizontal bars inch to the right, like someone was sitting next to me with an invisible remote. It was a bit freaky.

But that's not all.

Minutes later the TV switched input, from TV to the DVD setting and kept it there for a few minutes before finally switching back to the TV setting and turning itself off again. It was crazy because I was getting ready to watch a DVD when this happened. Instead I just watched the TV turn itself off and on.

It's been turning itself on very loud tonight. So loud, I had to run in and turn it off because I didn't want it to wake the kid. I finally just unplugged it.

No, I don't have the remote but my kid's asleep and the wife's at work. And I really don't have anyone around me to play an elaborate joke on me at 3 a.m.

Any ideas?

 

Yeah. Keep your daughter away from the TV.

 

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?id=abcat0101000&type=category

Your tv's dead, man. I had one that was about 10 years old do the same thing. It would just randomly turn on and off, sometimes to a channel, sometimes just to a black screen. Then it died.

 

My friend Dana had good things to say about these guys.

 

If Zelda Rubenstein stops by your house, get the fuck out.

 

Isn't that the rule, haunted TV or not?

 

Good point Doc.

Hold on there's a knock at my door.

 

No, BYH. Don't answer it. NOOOOOOO.

 

Can I just say, for the 24,243th time, how much Poltergeist fucked me up as an 8- or 9-year-old?

I was bound and determined to see that movie after seeing the promos. My mom kept saying no, it'll be too scary, but my dad said c'mon, if he wants to see it, he can handle it. so we went to the drive-in (also called an outdoor movie theatre...you could sit in your car and watch a movie long before the iPod was invented) one Sunday night.

About two-thrids of the way thru, I'm like pfffft this isn't scary at all. Then all hell broke loose in their last night in the house THAT WAS BUILT ON AN INDIAN BURIAL GROUND and I realized, shit, my mom was right.

So we're driving home--less than a mile, mind you--and I'm quiet as the day is long in the backseat until my dad says "Hey Beej want to watch TV when we get home?"

"No Dad."

"C'mon. It'll be great. Maybe we can find a channel with fuzz."

"That's not funny!"

"Yeah, we'll stay up, watch TV. Hey Ma isn't our house built on an indian burial ground?"

"DAD!!!"

"And if we find the fuzzy TV station, I'll put you in front of the TV and you'll get sucked in by the poltergeist!"

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD STOP IT WAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Then I started bawling.

Mom: "Damnit! See? I told you he wasn't ready for this!"

Oh yeah. Good times.

 

Call this guy:

 

You wanna watch TV, BYH?

 

Pussy.

I feel it was necessary and appropriate to compare Dickhead negatively to a part of the female anatomy.