My ex-girlfriend's getting engaged...

LOL, not you. I know you didn't. Guess some others didn't agree.

 

They're just haters!

 

Good post. I can relate, especially the dream/subconscious thing.

And damn people went a little hard on the original poster didn't they? I don't think he was bitching or looking for sympathy, just throwing out a few feelings on it. I don't know if you mean first-first or just first serious girlfriend, but either way both those have a tendency to stick with you, especially if things didn't necessarily end on bad terms.

 

GBNF, that helps clarify things a bit. Unfortunately, you made your choice and while it may have been the right one for you, this part of it is going to hurt. It ain't easy, but you really are going to have to try to be happy for her. If she's that great and you two couldn't be together, she deserves to find somebody else, right?

 

Let it be said that there's a difference between "wondering" and "lingering" when it comes to first love. I think everybody wonders -- that is, you're curious how their lives ended up and you think about how your life could be different, and all those things.

But that's a lot more detached than riding a little roller-coaster whenever you're reminded of him/her again. If you let it linger, that's not good. If it still hurts, if it's still hard, if it still brings back a lot of emotions ... that's not good.

I don't think anybody's on a high horse, GBNF. But you're straddling a fine line between "wondering" and "lingering," and I think you're getting called out for that from some quarters. You sound like you still have feelings for her -- might want to come to terms with those pretty soon, if she's about to get married. No good can come from that, for either of you.

 

GBNF: A lot of people who get married get divorced, so those can pretty much be in the mistake column. When a marriage/relationship lasts, that usually, but not always, means it worked out.

From my experience, when you or the other party decides to break up or break off, it is almost always the right decision. Maybe the decision was made for the wrong reason, but it usually is the right decision.

However, to quote Tina Turner, "I never lost a minute thinking about what might have been." Most people think about former flames. And Tina Turner's legs circa 1971.

 

Great. Fucking. Song.

And to answer BYH's question ...

Fuck, can't remember. Either Autograph or Twisted Sister.

 

Tsk tsk ... I even dropped a hint ...

 

Ouch.

 

Lugnuts, let me ask you this RE: Love Actually.

Doesn't that scene with the cue cards and Keira Knightley strike you as somewhat weird? It actually leaves me with far more questions than answers. Why does Juliet run after him and kiss him, holding his lapel for an extra second? Just because she wants him to know what a nice gesture it was to confess that he loved her? I honestly don't assume she'll remain happily married. I sort of wonder if she's suddenly questioning her marriage to Peter. Or if Mark totally freaking betrayed his best friend. It's played as a happy resolution to the whole thing, because Mark says "Enough, enough" but what guy madly in love would ever just give up hope after the girl he loved ran after him and kissed him?

This has nothing to do with GBNF. That scene just always struck me as the opposite of resolution to Mark's issues. Of course, when I bring this up every year, my wife tells me to shut up and watch the movie because it's her favorite.

 

I always wondered how she could kiss him so passionately and then he could just walk away. If I was on the receiving end of a kiss like that from a guy I loved and then he turned around and went back to his wife, it would trip me up something wicked.

 

first of all, major props to Flash and Football Bat. Autograph indeed sang My Girlfriend's Boyfriend Isn't Me. it was surely among their top three hits (Blondes In Black Cars being the third, of course).

great way to put it. My most serious ex lives one town over from where we grew up and I often wonder what it would be like if we saw each other when I was home for a visit. Human nature. But I haven't wondered what if since I moved away in 1993.

I do remember the last time I saw her, though, clear as day. It was Thanksgiving break 1994 and she was working at Stop & Shop. I went to buy some groceries and got into her line. We made some small talk as she scanned the groceries and it was easy and comfortable...all the things our conversations hadn't been for years.

She gave me the change and her fingers brushed against my palm. I got a little jolt and I imagine she did too, because we looked at each other and smiled...an acknowledgment that there would always be a spark between us. And it also gave us some closure.

A week later, I had my first date with my wife.